joy in the ordinary

Snow Sessions

2012-01-18T01:35:00.000-08:00

Currently I'm curled up under a thick down comforter on the couch, staring out the window at the gorgeous snow fall. It's far too late to still be awake, but I'm soaking in the solitude of this memory.

I am blessed.

Lord, if You take the time to create such beautiful, delicate, unique snowflakes - each one more fragile and precious than the one before it - how much more masterful are You in creating us?

Every flake that falls from the sky is rare (more so in Portland, as we don't see too much of this cozy-up-under-a-blanket-and-forget-all-your-other-responsibilities weather). One of a kind. THOUSANDS of them falling at the same time, only to join up with the thousands of others which fell before them... all melting into each other and blanketing everything with their beauty. Even the few remaining tire tracks in the parking lot are nearly filled in. It is so peaceful.

Lord, is this what You do to our souls? Slowly, delicately, meticulously filling in the tracks of sin and hurt and distance in our hearts. Each new outpouring of love for us unique and precious. Blanketing our hearts with love, redemption, grace... beauty. You love each of us as if there was only one of us to love.

I break for birthdays

2012-01-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

Today, many are celebrating the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Well, let's be honest here... today, many are celebrating a day-off from school/work, and are posting MLK quotes in their facebook status to make themselves feel better about the fact that they are still in their PJs and it's almost noon.

Hey, I won't deny the fact that I'm one of them - minus the MLK quote, even (shame, shame). And it has absolutely nothing to do with me not appreciating such an amazing civil rights leader, the likes of which our nation has yet to see again. True to my word, I remember this day from two years ago. I am constantly reminded that oppression still exists in our world. That the work started by Dr. King is no where close to being finished. That through his life, we learned peace can make a difference.

I could go on and on, but the thing is, this post isn't about iconic peaceful demonstrators. This post is about my incredible little sister. Today is Vanessa's birthday!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY VANESSA!

Technically we already celebrated Vanessa's b-day on Saturday, with an epic trampoline jumping adventure at Sky High Sports. It was fun for the whole family!

Vanessa and I are alike in this: we both want really big birthday celebrations, so we just plan them ourselves. This year, she orchestrated such a wonderful event - complete with a private jumping court, access to the foam pit, cupcakes (red velvet cupcakes, to be exact), and so much laughter.

Vanessa, I've written you enough gushy letters and cards over the past few years that I hope you know how ridiculously proud of you I am. It has been such a privilege to watch you transform into this amazing, vibrant, compassionate woman. You love others and you are dedicated to social justice. My social worker heart is bursting. :)

I'm so excited to see where the Lord takes you this year.

I love you!

Love,
Natalie

P.S. Let's take some new pictures together - these ones are just way too old!!

On becoming a popsicle...

2011-11-18T21:21:00.000-08:00

Currently, I'm wearing leggings, socks, a long sleeve shirt, a dress, a wool pea coat, a scarf, and mittens. I'm also sitting in my bed under three (count 'em, three!) comforters, a wool blanket, and a fleece blanket. And I'm still freezing.

What's wrong with this picture?

Birthday Break

2011-10-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

I'm still not ready to jump back into full blogging mode (though I have had a plethora of awkward moments over the past few weeks that I have been dying to share - no time, my friends, no time!), but I couldn't let today go unacknowledged.

It's my sister Amanda's birthday! Yahoo!! I don't know about your family, but in my family birthdays are a BIG DEAL!

Unfortunately, Amanda lives ~~a zillion~~ 1035.38 miles (thank you mapquest) away, so I'm unable to bring her breakfast and a birthday serenade in bed, or even take her to the Waffle Window to celebrate (side note: when creating that link, I visited the site and learned the Waffle Window now does catering. Hellooooo wedding reception!!!!) Instead I did the next best thing and sent her a book from amazon. Okay, not nearly as exciting, but at least it was gift-wrapped?

The majority of my Amanda-and-me photos are from childhood, which I do not have access to. Instead, I have this picture, taken by Cadence, during one of Amanda's visits this summer:

Oh Amanda, there are so many things to thank you for, not least of which is my love of reading. I remember countless trips (on the bus!) to the public library as a child, where you would help me pick out books as well as model a fascination with words on paper - so important to my development. I see you passing that same love of reading on to your daughter, and I know - both as a teacher and as a fellow bookworm - how precious this gift is to her.

Thank you for always fostering so much creativity in others. For your many amazing art projects and goodies that you so graciously mail to your family members. For striving to stay connected to us via skype, blog, email, cellphone, and even snail mail. I am amazed and impressed by your dedication to your family.

Cadence is so lucky to have you as her mommy. And I am so lucky to have you as my sister. I love you!

***Special thanks to my best friend, Kaitlynn Chritton, for her fabulous photography skills.

Bloggy Break

2011-10-01T13:22:00.000-07:00

I'm exhausted. This whole "simplicity" thing is NOT working out as well as planned. I thought if I juggled a few things around (aka, cut out sleep), I could handle it all. My incessantly twitching left eye is telling me I was wrong.

I need to eliminate about half of daily activities in order to find some peace. Most of those activities involve screen time. E-mails, facebook, blogs, hulu, skype, text messages... it's getting to be too much.

Therefore, I'm taking a much needed blog break. Sorry guys. It needs to be done.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-09-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Getting up to leave in the middle of class. No matter how quiet or sly I try to be, I always manage to stub my toe or have my shirt get caught on the corner of a table or run into something. It's horribly embarrassing... and draws attention to the fact that I am, indeed, leaving in the middle of class.
Fruit flies - and their invasion of my kitchen.
My supervisor at my new internship takes great pleasure in parading me around the school and announcing to random groups of people that I'm bilingual, which is always followed by, "Here, show them. Say _______ (some ridiculously obscure sentence)." Talk about being put on the spot!
This picture of Joelle and I:

My nose hoop has a gap, and this gap always manages to find its way to the front of my nose where everyone can see it. The only natural response is to fiddle with it and attempt to maneuver it back inside my nostril where it belongs. Simple enough, minus the fact that it totally looks like I'm picking my nose every. single. time.

AWESOME:

This plant from Ikea:

This dresser from Ikea:

I want.

This picture from Ikea (noticing a trend? Plus, can we talk about the fact that even in its GIANT frame it's only $49???? Dang growing up and being responsible with money sucks)

This year, my bus picks up and drops me off directly in front of my house. It's fantastic.
Today, when I went to pick up my little bus buddy from his classroom, I discovered they were having an ICE CREAM PARTY! Heck yes, free ice cream!

Did you know?

2011-09-28T00:17:00.000-07:00

.... that I hate the feeling of a fan blowing on me?

.... that I have an irrational fear of mascots and garages?

.... that ranch dressing is quite possibly my least favorite food item on the planet? (with honeydew following as a close second)

.... that I absolutely adore my job right now?

.... that I took piano lessons for 9 years of my life?

.... that I can barely play "Chopsticks" now?

.... that God loves you so fiercely that He would do absolutely anything to have you love Him back?

.... that I love you, too?

I have the best best friend ever

2011-09-27T19:18:00.000-07:00

Today, I made a rare trip down to our mail room (I'm somewhat notorious for never checking my mailbox). As I scooped the copious amounts of junk mail and bills out of our mailbox, I noticed a bright blue package at my feet. Upon further examination, I discovered my name written on the front of this package.

My dear, sweet best friend Joelle sent me a little care package for the term. Inside, I found home-baked chocolate chip cookies (yummmm) and several darling envelopes, each with a different date stamped on the back. I opened the one marked for today and was beyond elated to find a two-page handwritten love letter, as well as a handcrafted necklace she purchased at the Oktoberfest for me.

Are you kidding me? Am I lucky, or what??

Simplicity.

2011-09-26T00:17:00.000-07:00

I'm gearing up for another school year, which starts (gulp) tomorrow*. It's going to be a busy one - filled with school, internship, work, church, community groups, and running. Who knows? I might even a throw a social life into the mix.

I'm excited, but already a bit overwhelmed at the stark contrast from the lazy days of summer to the ~~rainy~~ busy days of fall. My life is about to change dramatically.

School isn't the only thing that's changing - but that's another post for another day. Suffice it to say, there is much to look forward to in my future.

At the same time, I'm really working on grounding myself. I don't want to become so wrapped up in my busyness or my dreams and schemes for the future that I forget who I am or why I'm here. Conveniently, my pastor just spoke on this very topic at church.

Simplicity.

It's one of the four pillars my church is founded on.

The entire sermon is definitely worth listening to, but since this is a blog and its already getting a little big lengthy, I'll leave you with the final notes. Most of these are concepts he quoted from other authors, authors whom I did not write down the names of and therefor cannot give credit to (authors who know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, like I just did). But their words are too good to miss.

Three Inner Attitudes to Simplicty

Everything we have is a gift from God
God can protect what we possess (we must trust God with everything we have)
What I have is available for others (if you aren't using God's gifts to bless others, they are essentially "stolen goods")

Three Outward Expressions of Simplicity

Buy things for usefulness, not status
Reject anything creating an addiction in you (*cough cough* facebook)
Develop a habit of giving things away

So there you have it. As I prepare to start a new school year and quite possibly a new life, I'm working on simplifying as much as possible. It isn't about giving up the things that are fun in life. It's about finding that One thing that fully satisfies. God will not be my secondary desire.

* by the time I post this, it will most likely today, since it's nearly midnight

Awkward and Awesome Thursday (and HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!)

2011-09-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Setting the smoke alarm off outside the bathroom when I made the brilliant decision to shower with the door opened. This resulted in me - in my full birthday suit - desperately waving my towel in front of the dang thing just to get it to shut up. And no, it was not the first time it's ever happened.
The insatiable ketchup craving I've had for the last 3 months. Seriously, I can't get enough of it.

"Popcorn Prayer" - you know, where one designated person starts the prayer, and everyone else is invited to pray aloud as the Spirit moves them?? This always gives me an anxiety attack. I spend most of the time stressing out over what I'm going to say (because yea right like I'm going to be the only person in the group who doesn't feel "moved" enough to pray), and the rest of the time stressing even more about when to say it. Inevitably two people always end up starting at the same time, causing an awkward battle of politeness - neither one wanting to open their eyes (because, you know, we're praying), forcing them to somehow creatively communicate to the other person about who is going to go first.
Pushing a 235 pregnant teenager in active labor up a ramp in a wheelchair.

AWESOME:

I successfully ran 10 minute intervals this week for the first time!
Praying God's word back to Him. My church hosted an all night prayer meeting last Friday, and for a section of the night we did a whole group (we're talking 130+ people here) Popcorn Prayer, where we prayed our favorite Bible verses back to God. I've never experienced anything quite like it, and I found it incredibly beautiful and inspiring.
The delicious crepes and bbq pulled pork fries my friends and I devoured from the food carts - which were STILL open at 2:30 am - after we skipped out a little "early" on the prayer meeting. I just adore this city!
Witnessing someone in active labor for the first time ever. It was incredible!
My MOMMA, who just happens to be having a birthday TODAY.

Happy Birthday, Momma. I pray it is amazing!

Random Realization

2011-09-18T20:46:00.000-07:00

You can tell what kind of day I'm having based on what I seek out in my trail mix.

On Hiking

2011-09-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

"We are are starved for the glory of God, not self. No one goes to the Grand Canyon to increase self-esteem. Why do we go? Because there is greater healing for the soul in beholding splendor than there is in beholding self." John Piper

I adore hiking. ADORE. I am a complete sucker for the simplicity of using your own two feet to explore God's Creation. Even better if there is some sort of (minimal) climbing involved. What can I say? I like heights.

A not-so-secret dream of mine is to one day hike the Pacific Crest Trail. While I've resigned myself to the fact that this dream will most likely never become a full blown reality (who has that kind of time?), I still think I would like to attempt at least one state. A few years ago, I followed the blog of this couple as they hiked the entire trail. I rapidly became obsessed with all things PCT. The concept of carrying everything you needed for survival on your back, walking nearly a marathon a day, setting up camp wherever you landed for the night... it all fascinated me. (Not to mention the fact that every weekend they got to hitchhike into the nearest town and eat WHATEVER THE HECK THEY WANTED because they hiked a near-marathon every day)

This week I had the pleasure of driving my not-so-baby sister back up to Seattle for her junior year of college. We took a detour on our way up and explored Camp Cascades, where she spent her summer as a counselor. It was so special for me to see the place where so many of her precious memories were born.

She even took me on her favorite hike up Fossil Rock. The view along the way was incredible...

Cute sister during a water break

Madrona Tree - my new favorite

...and the summit was absolutely breathtaking...

... but the walk ride down was definitely my favorite part.

P.S. Isn't it a little bit creepy how similar we sound on video?

Thanks for such an epic adventure, sis.

Psalm 104:24 (message) “What a wildly wonderful world, God! You made it all, with Wisdom at your side, made earth overflow with your wonderful creations.”

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-09-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

I promised ya'll I would not forget!

AWKWARD:

Exiting the bathroom stall on Sunday morning wearing a super cute skirt... which is tucked into your undies!*
Okay, so I've been trying to run, right? And in order to keep me motivated, I listen to music, which sometimes includes gangster rap. And sometimes while I've got those inappropriate lyrics blaring in my earbuds, I run past a nice, sweet looking family. Often with small children. I even earned double awkward bonus points the day I ran past a summer nature camp group.
The borderline obsession Shmem and I had with finding poison oak/ivy (whichever one grows up the Pacific NW) during our hike to fossil rock.

Here's photographic evidence of one particular species of plant we believe might be the itchy variety.

I had my first bubble tea experience, and found the tapioca bubbles to be awkward but not awful. I think I'll need a few more taste tests before I'm sold one way or another.
When my sister took my picture this week, glanced at the back of the digital camera screen, and doubtfully asked "Hmm, Natalie, is that the look you were going for?" She then proceeded to show me the screen and... well... all I saw was a smile. Ooops?

AWESOME:

For my baptism, my mom got me a brand new jump drive and put a note on it that says "Jesus saves. Now you can, too." Awesome play on words, mom. Well done.
The nostalgic, childlike sensation I get every single time I ride through a car wash.
Newspaper nails.

Home made trail mix. I prepared a gargantuan bag for my trip to Seattle with Emily, and it was delicious.
The miniature steam trains we got to ride in Molalla while visiting Noah's (brother in law) family ranch

Cadence, Shmem, and Amanda waiting at the station.

Noah, Amanda, and Shmem on the train.

Grannie Annie and Bad Dad.

Cadence and I. She refused to smile. You can do that when you're 4.

Also awesome is the ranch itself.

This is the roof of the lodge Noah's dad and brothers are building

The interior

The exterior of the lodge - supposedly the ENTIRE thing came from just ONE tree. Can you believe it? (me neither)

The inside of one of the darling little one-room cabins

The view from the window

Pocket sized cabin. I love it.

*While I cannot take personal credit for this awkward moment, it did happen to one of my dearest friends, with whom I share absolutely everything... including awkwardness.

10 Years Ago Today

2011-09-11T11:27:00.000-07:00

I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom, frantically styling my hair so I wouldn't be late to early morning choir sectionals, and listening to Z100 on the radio. A rare news break from the obnoxious-excuse-for-comedy-I-used-to-adore informed me that a plane had just crashed into the World Trader Center in New Year. Being 15 and naive, I assumed this report was referring to tiny, one-seater planes ineffectively ramming themselves into the side of a building I honestly knew nothing about. Plus, that was in New York and I was in Oregon. No big deal, right?

During sectionals, I noticed a lot of the older students talking about it. Then, an announcement came over the PA system calling all staff to the library for an emergency staff meeting. I grew slightly more suspicious, but still remained rather oblivious.

Oddly enough, it wasn't until first period Spanish class, when the principal made another announcement over the PA system - this time addressing the entire school - and my peers began getting pulled out of class by their parents, that I realized something much bigger was going on. The first time I saw the video footage, I cried.

Fast forward three years later. I'm on a choir tour in New York. We are just coming up the steps from the subway, headed to a rehearsal. I notice the chaperones ahead of me stop abruptly at the top of the stairs. Curious, I jog the last few steps... and gasp. Rookies to navigating the intricate subway system, we've accidentally gotten off a few stops too early and inadvertently landed ourselves at Ground Zero. In stark contrast the the hustle and bustle of NYC, I'm instantly struck by the eerie quiet. Generally overwhelmed and exhausted by the enormity and magnitude of the sky scrapers of this iconic city, the emptiness seems oppressively vast. I cried for hours that day.

Where were you?

Also, my new favorite radio show did a tribute to 9/11 that is a most wonderful balance of tactful humor, humble honesty, and sincere regret. Have a listen and tell me what you think:

9/11 Tribute

ah crap, it's Friday

2011-09-09T03:04:00.000-07:00

I forgot awkward and awesomes for this week. Again.

I'm sorry, friends. I'll try harder next week.

On the plus side, at least summer finally decided to show up. Hopelessly and gloriously late, sure, but I can certainly relate to that. :)

I've noticed my sense of adventure increases exponentially as my sense of freedom disappears, therefore these last few weeks of summer break have been somewhat action-packed. I've been soaking up as much sunshine (doused in SPF 30, of course) as possible. This includes training for my 10k on Springwater trail - a 40 mile loop, accessible through the Wildlife Reserve a mere 3 minute walk from my front doorstep. The other day I ran all the way to the park where I was re-baptized. Speaking of which, here are some pictures:

Yes folks, this is my pastor. Or as my friend Katie refers to him "Jesus with tattoos"

The dip and dunk. I was careful to cover my nose so as to protect myself from brain-eating amoeba. Or whatever else might live in the Willamette.

Katie also pointed out there appears to be "fairy dust" coming off of me in this photo. Hey, I'll take it.

My support crew (from L to R): random guy I don't know from church, Jake, Katie, ME, Joelle, Kendra, Vanessa, Marc

I also visited the Oregon State Fair (though, at night, so there was not much sunshine to be had):

We had free admission, Schuyler bought the elephant ear, AND we finagled our way onto this vertigo swings without tickets. How great is that?

I did a little bit more research towards my goal of becoming an expert Portland foodie by joining a friend for food cart lunch, which we carried over to the Waterfront and ate on the steps.

Later that day, I journeyed to Sauvie Island for the first time... and fell in love. Our little beach was totally secluded. My friend Jackie and I packed a cooler with savory snacks and played in the water for hours.

Today, I had the privilege of introducing my siblings, their spouses, and their children to the wonder that is THE WAFFLE WINDOW (we missed you, Vanessa!):

I highly recommend "The Whole Farm"

Cadence went for the "Berry Bliss"

And the twins had a little bit of everything, it seems.

After that, Joelle and Heidi and I explored the vintage shops in one of my favorite parts of Portland. I fell in love, again, this time with a little blue clutch on sale for $10. I reluctantly decided I didn't have enough money to purchase it, so I did not. Being a grown up really sucks sometimes. We rounded out our day with a trip to Keana's Candyland Bakery, where we even scored free sugar cookies. :)

Finally, tonight, I prepared one of my favorite meals: apricot glazed pork with sweet potato gnocchi. I even treated myself to some nutella and graham cracker sandwiches - dipped in milk - for dessert.

So as you can see, I've pretty much been eating my way through summer. Yum.

Stuff Christians Like

2011-09-06T15:29:00.000-07:00

Joelle turned me on to this blog and I can't stop laughing. In fact, I've gone back to the beginning to read them all. I started at #1 and am currently taking a breather at #131 to share some of the hilariousness with you. Because I doubt any of you have as much free time as me, I'll spare you the search and give you a few of my favorites (so far). Some are links, because his little blurb is even funnier than the title.

Bible "fanny packs" (zippers, pencil holders, handles, oh my!)
Fearing the rapture would come before you lost your virginity
Side-hugs

Eating your body weight in goldfish in Sunday School

Being slightly less nice than Mormons

Youth group vehicles that break down, blow up, and in general suck
Disguising gossip as prayer
Riding in the cool van in youth group
Using God's favorite word (I'm so guilty of this one!)

There are also some more serious (though still quite funny) ones I've enjoyed:

The Boldness of Strangers

2011-09-03T11:15:00.000-07:00

"Look, I'm not sending you to a people who speak a hard-to-learn language with words you can hardly pronounce. If I had sent you to such people, their ears would have perked up and they would have listened immediately." (Ezekiel 3:5-6, Message)

It's no secret I've wanted to be a missionary for a long time. In fact, going into Social Work was the closest I felt I could get to sharing God's love while still earning a paycheck to chip away at my student loans. Always, though, the ultimate goal was "missions."

The other day, during a morning snuggle session with my wise best friend Joelle, she called me out. That's what best friends are for, right? To call you out on your bologna (were this not already a primarily Christian-themed blog, I may have used another word there). "Natalie, what is it about missions that appeals to you?"

I reflected on my many wonderful Mexico trips, rambling on about how every moment of every day was intentional. Purposeful. Nothing was wasted. Every ounce of me was used for the glory of God.

And do you know what she said? That dear, sweet friend of mine, she said, "You're an agent of God no matter where you are. We are called to reflect His love everywhere."

Why is it so much easier to be bold with strangers? Why is it so much more comfortable for me to share the Gospel to those whom I only know through a context of Service? It's like the mere act of translation causes me to feel more purposeful... but why?

This passage in Ezekiel caught my eye today for that very reason. God didn't call Ezekiel to a faraway land where he would be seen as a novelty. No, God called him to be a missionary to his own people.

Professional boundaries and social norms limit my ability to speak freely of the redemption brought through Christ. But a service of love is always possible. I may not always be able to say it, but I can always show it. Intentionally. Purposefully. With every ounce of my being.

I know this will take time. I am only human. I am not perfect. But I'm growing and I'm learning that whether I'm in Mexico, Peru, Uganda, or Portland, my life still has the same purpose: I will bring Him glory.

P.S. No offense, God, but the book of Ezekiel kind of makes You look crazy. I'm gonna need someone with far more Biblical knowledge to help me decipher this one.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-09-01T09:41:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

When you say goodbye to someone, only to realize you are actually headed the same direction. This happened after church on Sunday... twice.
Mustaches. Awesome in theory, super awkward in real life.

Returning home from my thrice-weekly wog (walk/jog combination... technically it's supposed to be a run, but who are we kidding?) only to discover my car was egged. Gross.
Attempting to navigate a zillion cords, outlets, and cables just to set up the internet in my new apartment. Even more unfortunate: the only functioning cable jack in the place is located in the dining room, therefore our modem and router currently live underneath the table.

AWESOME:

Joelle and I had a slumber party last week, whereupon we decided to tap into our collective childhood and build a fort in her living room. Epic.

This photo was taken with Joelle's cellphone. Not the greatest quality but you get the picture.

Nail polish that lasts longer than 3 days without chipping. I've reached a new record: 7 days!
Aquatic Adventures at Salmon Falls. The water is crystal clear and freezing cold. Summer fun!
I discovered a plethora of delightful wogging paths in the Wildlife Refuge near my house. My exercise routine has been transformed.
And of course, most awesome of all: on Sunday, I was re-baptized in the Willamette at the Sellwood Riverfront Park. It was such an incredible experience publicly declaring Christ as my Redeemer.

The Poem of My Heart

2011-08-31T21:11:00.000-07:00

Oh that every word she says could be true for me. I'm growing weary of the wait, but praying that He renews my strength, soothes my shredded heart, and picks up the shattered and scattered pieces of my dreams, forming them into something far more complete than I could ever imagine.

Just checking...

2011-08-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

Joelle, are you reading this? I'm going to count how many days it takes for you to comment. Then I'll know where I stand in the line up of blogs you read.

Also, I totally read my Bible today. So I'm prepared to accept my gold star whenever you'd like to give it to me.

Under Heavenly Protection

2011-08-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

My niece, that is. She's a walking, talking, singing, dancing miracle. Her very existence is proof that we have a living God.

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams" (Ephesians 3:20 - Message)

Born at 26 weeks, she came charging into this world with the same sense of urgency with which she now approaches most things in life - be it building towers, creating her own cooking show, visiting Miss Diane at her favorite bakery, skyping with friends and relatives, reading books, praying, telling you how much she loves you or how "delightful" your idea sounds, or riding the school bus.

That silver "hoop" she's clinging to is her daddy's wedding band. She was so tiny, her entire arm fit in its center.

1 pound, 11 oz. This photo makes me cry in wonder at our God every single time.

For the first four months of her life, Cadence lived in Hawaii and we were unable to visit. I wish I could sum up in words how difficult that was for all of us, but thankfully my sister was diligent about keeping us all updated through her blog.

I will never forget the day she landed in Portland. Truly one of the happiest days of my life.

I still don't get to see this little miracle nearly half as often as I would like, but I try to make the most of every visit. We even have a signature pose:

December 2007

February 2008

August 2008

December 2008

June 2009

September 2010

July 2011

Happy 4th Birthday, sweet niece of mine. I adore you.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-08-25T23:52:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Forgetting about Awkward and Awesome Thursday until 11:51 pm

AWESOME:

I get to try again next week! :)

P.S. You can also help fill in my blanks by adding your own awkwards and awesomes.

Surprise Wedding

2011-08-22T13:15:00.000-07:00

Is this romantic? Crazy? Both?

I can't decide if I would be relieved, as she was at the end, that all the stress of planning was taken care of... or disappointed that I didn't get to go all OCD on my own wedding.

On a side note, how adorable is it that he brought her ENTIRE bedroom over?

EPIc night

2011-08-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

Last night I administered an Epi Pen for the first time.

It was a pretty big deal.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-08-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Pretty much every other time I blow my nose, it results in blood. Awkward AND Gross.
Last week, the maintenance guy came in to FINALLY install a screen in my bedroom window. I scurried to haphazardly toss the comforter back across the bed and make it look like I hadn’t just been laying in it (hey! It was my day off!), and then stood back awkwardly as he attempted to maneuver my crowded room and access the window. I watched in horror as he lifted my bed to move it, knocking it completely off the four bed risers. Unbeknownst to him at the time, that one small act would result in nearly 20 minutes of the two of us lifting and shifting my covers, mattress, and box spring around until all four corners of the bed frame were securely placed back into their plastic lifts. Did I mention we did all of this while I was still in my pajamas? Ayiyi.
Conducting ant genocides in my house... nightly. Why oh why do they love cat food so much?
Jokes that are interpreted seriously.
Craigslist car shopping. And I thought searching for ROOMMATES was awkward.

AWESOME:

Slumber parties with Emily and The Twins. Being an auntie is SO fun!
When my friends come to visit and stay the whole weekend!! When I was little, we were never allowed to have more than one slumber party in a row (let's face it, we were rarely allowed to have slumber parties - poor, poor deprived children), so it seems like an extra special treat now that I'm a grown up.
Crackle nail polish.

Emily and I. Can you believe how much TANNER than me she is?

The magical Candyland Bakery just a few blocks from my new apartment. It's 100% gluten free, too.

The sweet bluetooth in my rental car - it plays out of the stereo speakers, and I can control it all from my steering wheel.

Joy is a Choice

2011-08-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

I was born and raised in a Christian home, and for most of my life I’ve followed God similar to the way a four year old follows a grown-up in the grocery store.

I always keep Him in my sight for fear of going down the wrong aisle and becoming lost, but I dawdle, frequently distracted by the shiny boxes and sugary treats strategically placed within my grasp, and secretly curse Him for not allowing me to add these goodies to my cart.

Over the course of my 25 years, there have been times (like most of puberty, my freshman year of college, and the beginning of every new relationship with a boy) when I naively assume I’m wise enough to navigate the store myself. I hip-check God out of the way so I can steer my own cart. Of course those are also the times when the front wheel only seems capable of turning left, thereby limiting my trajectory to mere circles, and eventually I always lift up my arms in frustration and surrender and allow Him to resume His guiding position.

There have been times (like the end of my parents’ 32 year marriage, my year of teaching hell, or when Quinn left for New Zealand for the third time) when I cling tightly to His cart, terribly afraid of what might happen if I let go.

There have even been times when I gleefully hook my fingers around the back of the cart, rest my heels on the rim, close my eyes in perfect trust, and allow Him to take me for a joy-ride. These are, of course, the times when I feel closest to Him.

But there was a brief period of time in my life when I not only stopped following God; I actually began to run from Him.

It began innocently enough. Classic romantic comedy plot: boy meets girl, girl has other boyfriend so boy and girl decide to be best friends, girl gets her heart broken by other boyfriend, boy best friend sweeps in to save the day and casually professes his undying love for girl, girl falls in love with the idea of falling in love with her best friend, and ignores every single Youth Group message warning against the dangers of dating non-Christian boys.

Not that he was a bad boy by any means, but his values were different. I resisted said “different values” for several months, and he respectfully accepted my beliefs. Until one night in February. We were at the beach celebrating his birthday, a trip I had planned for weeks. I wanted so desperately for everything to be perfect.

I can see now how Satan used that to his advantage.

In hindsight, the look of disappointment I got when I whispered “no” was probably not any different from any other disappointing look I’ve received throughout my between-the-sheets life.

What can I say? I played with fire.

But this night, disappointment was the opposite of perfection. I was a failure. Never in my life have I felt the presence of the Devil so profoundly. He deafened my ears to all love, logic, and reason; caused my skin to crawl with self-hatred; and actually convinced me that I had just been fooling myself all along believing that I might have anything special to offer anyone.

Who was I kidding holding out on this boy until marriage? What difference would that make? Obviously we would be together forever anyways, why wait?

So, we didn’t.

I half expected the voices to be silenced by my surrender, but they only grew louder. I was so ashamed, I told no one at first. I felt convicted every day. I began having bizarre dreams. One night I dreamt I found a marble cross. I desperately needed to display the cross for everyone to see, so I tried to bring it to my rooftop. But it was too heavy for me to carry and no one was around to help me lift it.

The next day in church I was so distracted by my conviction, I had to move. I walked to the back of the room and past a table I had never noticed before. Resting on that table was a cross covered in red sharpie signatures, so many signatures it almost looked marbleized. It was THE CROSS from my dream. Located on the center of the table was a small piece of paper describing the table, the cross, and the Message. Curious, I began skimming. And then I read the words: “You are not here by coincidence. You were drawn here by your Savior.”

The signatures on that cross are all from other people who had been drawn there before me. They were so overcome by Jesus’ loving sacrifice they signed their lives in surrender, symbolizing their death to sin and new life in Him.

But I couldn’t sign that day, the voices were still too loud. In fact, I battled those voices for several years. Slowly at first, and eventually bolstered by the inevitable demise of my relationship with that “boy,” I finally found my own voice and an ounce of courage, and confessed my sin to my dearest friends. They all rushed in with many of the same words of love, acceptance, and comfort that I’m sure I would have given anyone in my same position.

Of course Jesus’ love for me extends beyond my sin. Of course He forgives me. There is nothing I could do that could ever separate me from His love. I only need to surrender to His will and allow Him to silence the voices, and I can be freed from these chains of shame.

The thing is, though, those words are enough… unless you’ve done something so horrible you feel completely undeserving of grace. Spiritual warfare is a very real, dark, and terrifying thing. I was so haunted by the voices of self doubt for so long; I truly believed I would never again walk with Christ. I went to church. I led Bible studies. I prayed for others. I went through all the motions of faith. And I would catch snippets of my old self here and there, but still I ran.

I’m not sure exactly what did me in, but eventually I grew tired of running. Through a rather fortunate accident, I acquired my pastor’s phone number and called for help. He connected me with a wonderful Christian mentor who knew nothing of my past or present life. She patiently listened as tears slid down my cheeks faster than the words of my story left my mouth. And then she said the most tremendous thing: “Natalie, Jesus has already forgiven you, and you know that. What you need to do is learn to forgive yourself.”

Then, she made me pray that Christ would help me forgive myself. And she made me do it outloud. There was no escaping this one. And then she prayed that God would give me a word. One word to cling to as I surrendered this shackle I had used to bind myself for so long.

And so, that is how I came to realize that Satan’s greatest weapon in pulling us from the loving arms of our Father is ourselves.

I learned that knowing and believing are two very different things.

And I experienced, for the first time, the all-consuming JOY that Jesus offers in exchange for our sins, if we only just surrender to Him.

Since that day, I have been singing sweet songs of redemption. I am involved in the most Divine Romance with my Savior. He is transforming my knowledge of Him into action for Him and reminding me daily that through Him, 1 Thessalonians 5:16 is possible and I can “be joyful always.”

None of this is to say I’m a saint, I’ve never sinned since, and I blindly and obediently accept everything He throws my way. No, I still fight Him sometimes for control of my shopping cart. But before I leave the store, I’m not ashamed to allow Him to review the contents of my basket and tenderly remove those items He knows are not heart healthy or conducive to the kind of Joy Ride we both desire.

breaking the silence

2011-08-16T10:10:00.000-07:00

I know I've discussed my faith in small doses on this blog.

I've even mustered the courage to be honest about my heartbreak a time or two.

But for years now I've been sitting on one particular blog entry that I just could never bring myself to post.

Even still, I'm on the verge of chickening out. I tell myself: I'll disable the comments. Then I don't have to know what anyone is thinking.

But the thing is, most of you have my phone number and my physical address. At the very least you know how to reach me via e-mail. And that's because you know me in real life. Not just in blog life.

In blog life, it's easier to be honest. I read the raw confessions of strangers and I am amazed and moved by their courage. I know their stories have an impact. I also don't know them beyond the screen where their stories come to life. My opinions of these bloggers remain the same because they are rooted in the very lives they portray to the world wide web.

For many of you, your opinions of me were formed outside these words I type. You know me in action. Some of you have known me longer than I've ever known myself (yes, it is possible - this blog was started primarily for my family, after all).

And so now, I'm not merely writing about my faith but demonstrating it. My God promises He has redeemed all situations. He never intended for me to make many of the decisions I've made in my life, yet He is able to turn all of them around for His glory, so long as I allow Him.

Tomorrow, I will post the entry I've been keeping secret from many of you for years. It may change your opinion of me. It may not. In any case, I've finally come to the realization that this isn't a subject we talk freely enough about and that the very lack of free speech is partially what got me into my situation to begin with.

I wish someone had told me.

Then and Now

2011-08-15T02:08:00.000-07:00

2008

2011

Are we blessed or what?

Fresh ink

2011-08-13T00:52:00.000-07:00

I missed Awkward and Awesome Thursday due to the fact that our ~~stolen~~ borrowed internet was malfunctioning all day, so instead I will just share some of the more awesome moments from the past few days.

1. I finally got a new tattoo:

It's my favorite Bible verse in Latin, "Be Joyful Always." My brother in law designed it as a birthday gift to me and I ADORE it.

2. I finally went to a concert at Edgefield. Better still, the concert was Amos Lee. I love him.

Childhood friends, Maegan and Jenn.

3. I finally started training for a race. I don't think it's any secret that I hate running, but for whatever reason I've always wanted to do a race. Well after Kendra did the Shamrock Run and Vanessa did two runs, I decided to jump on that bandwagon and train myself. I'm on week one of the couch-to-10k program, and so far I haven't died.

It's been quite the productive weekend so far.

How I Became a Karaoke Junkie

2011-08-10T00:26:00.000-07:00

Some of you may be surprised to learn that I was plagued by paralyzing stage fright for several years. During this time, I did not sing in front of other people at all. Not even in the car. When I was 22, I was entered into a Miss American Preliminary pageant, where I was forced to perform a talent. This would be my very first public performance since high school.

To prepare myself, I began frequenting karaoke dive bars in an attempt to combat the swarm of butterflies that threatened to make me lose my lunch every time I stepped up to a microphone. I quickly became enthralled by the atmosphere - the tacky decorations, the random song selections, the freedom to sing completely off key without fear or judgment, the "regulars" (entertainment enough just to watch some of them) - and soon enough my nerves were replaced by excitement.

Now, I'm so obsessed with karaoke, I keep a song list in my phone so I'm ready to go at the drop of a hat. I even hosted a private karaoke party in my living room for my 24th birthday.

All of this is to say, if you're ever looking for a duet partner, I'm your girl.

My Crowded Little Nook

2011-08-09T09:24:00.000-07:00

Every time I move, I get a new desk. Either a larger one or a smaller one, depending on the size of the space I have available. At first it was sheer necessity that drove this search. Now, it's more of a tradition.

I was the first one of the two of us to move into the new apartment. Anna (my new roommate) suggested I choose whichever bedroom I wanted, one of the bedrooms measuring significantly larger than the other. Naturally, I would love to have the big one... but I felt like a jerk snapping that up all for myself. Plus, the big room faces the busy street and the hot afternoon sun, so it's pretty noisy and insanely hot.

Considering the fact the small room is still larger than my old room at Joelle's house, I figured I'd be able to cram all my junk into it no problem. And I did. But I still didn't feel settled until I'd found my new desk.

Several failed craigslist connections and at least five different Goodwill trip's later, I finally found a new home for my laptop and office supplies.

Someday, I would love to paint it red. Won't that be SO adorable?

This of course, warranted a celebratory IKEA lamp purchase. I've been eying this sucker for years and patiently waited until I found the right space for it.

In case you can't tell, since it's so chaotic in this picture; the lamp is the white coke-bottle shaped, paper thing sandwiched in between the bookshelf and the new desk. I'm not entirely certain this is really the "right space" for it, but it fits and it's functional. As I mentioned before, we have no lights in our bedrooms.

Wanna see more of my crowded-little-nook-of-a-bedroom?

Deciding where to put my bed in this bedroom was quite the project. Someday I'll have a real bed, with a headboard and everything. That day will probably be the day I have to share my real bed with a husband. I think I can wait.

I love my little black out curtains. Not only for the way they block out the light so beautifully, but because I think they make the otherwise boring window kind of "pop."

Yeah it's cramped up in here. Someday I dream of having a simple, clean bedroom. Where the focus is, you know, the bed. But for now, I have more of a multipurpose room going on. It's a bedroom, library, office, and vanity all at the same time.

Oh and my worries about the other room being too hot? Poppycock. It's hotter than Hades in here as well. So, dad, this next photo is for you:

This right here is the fan that Joelle and I purchased brand new (still in the box!) from Goodwill and assembled BY OURSELVES!

Em Bem Shmem

2011-08-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, sweet baby sister!

I can't even begin to tell you how much I adore you. Over the past 10 years, I feel like our friendship has grown exponentially. Not only that, but we actually started to look alike as well.

You are so creative, caring, sweet, genuine, talented, and special. It's been an absolutely blast for me to attend all your musical performances.

And you know I appreciate having another choir nerd in the family!

You are a woman after God's own heart, and your love for Him reflects in all you do. I'm so proud to be your sister.

Love you, Shmem!

Crunch

2011-08-07T22:58:00.000-07:00

A few short months ago, I wrote this post dedicated to major things I had or hadn't done by my 25th birthday. One little bullet point indicated my gratitude for never having been in a car accident. And up until Friday, that was still true.

Alas, Friday my 25 year accident-free streak ended. First, I witnessed a nasty car accident, resulting in my passenger racing out of my vehicle to go save a man trapped upside down in his flipped car and me desperately calling 911. We were the first ones to arrive on the scene.

I walked away from that experience both traumatized and incredibly grateful that it wasn't me.

Not 40 minutes later, I found myself crunched behind a trailer. The trailer I had just rear ended. The trailer that was attached to a truck, whose driver had slammed on his brakes in order to allow some bikers to cross the road. And I sat there in my car and wondered, who was running to help me? By the time I finally mustered enough sense to open my door and get out of my vehicle, all I could verbalize to the man who approached me was, "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. Do I call my dad, or my insurance?"

Instead I dialed my sister to inform her she needed to call in late for work, since I would not be able to babysit as planned.

I know it sounds cliche, but it all happened so fast. I wasn't texting. I wasn't fiddling with my radio. I even had both hands on the steering wheel. And yet somehow I missed the fact that he was braking until it was too late. It might have been because he didn't have tail lights hooked up to his trailer. It might also have been because I was still preoccupied by thoughts of the horrible accident I had just driver away from. Whatever the case, this was the result:

My car is most likely totaled. I won't know for sure until later this week.

Blessedly, no one else was injured. My few bumps and batters will heal. My air bag did not deploy, and I still have an intact nose to thank for that. My sister came to my rescue, my insurance is paying for a rental car, and while that rental car is a gas-hogging-soccer-mom-mobile, it's also big and safe.

Thank God for that.

Ordinary Joy

2011-08-06T00:23:00.000-07:00

Wrinkling the spine of a good paperback novel.

I much prefer paperbacks to hardbacks. I like to wear 'em in. One glance at my bookshelf and you can tell which ones are my favorites.

Cheers to Summer Reading!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-08-04T00:06:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Clamping down on my arm with my hair straightener, leaving the most epic burn mark. Which I now rub with cocoa butter every day. The pregnant girls at work figure if it helps with their stretch marks it might help me avoid another gnarly scar (don't get ready in the dark, folks)
My new apartment has no lights in the living room or either of the bedrooms. Also awkward: it doesn't have a peephole either.
Meeting my new neighbor for the first time at 11:27pm when he knocked on my door to inform me that my keys were still in it!
Arriving at a thai restaurant at the end of a long day of moving, only to be greeted by the hostess with a blatant up-down look and the words, "Oh, are you here to pick up a to-go order?" Ummm, no. We're here to eat.
Getting puked on by an infant approximately 3 hours into my 15 hour shift. Yum.

AWESOME:

The new bright red tea kettle I just purchased for my kitchen
Peacock feather earrings

Playing at the Splash Pad with my nieces and nephew. I just love being an auntie.
THE WAFFLE WINDOW! Probably my new favorite place in all of Portland. Beware: next time you come visit, I just may try and convince you to go there with me.... multiple times.
Freckles

Admission

2011-08-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a teacher. As a little girl, I would frequently elect to stay in from recess so I could have full access to the chalkboard, whereupon I would set up my own classroom (complete with daily schedule, behavior management system, and a little pretend intercom to call the office if any "students" got out of line).

Somewhere along the line, I upgraded my dream to bilingual teaching. I have many a scholarship essay saved on my computer rambling on about my lofty goals of educating our nation's forgotten youth.

During my student teaching, I began to have doubts about my future goals. Major ones. I found myself searching for any and every escape I could possibly find. And one day, my best friend Kaitlynn gave me my out:"Hey, have you ever considered social work? I think you'd be really good at it."

I scrambled together a personal statement and some reference letters and applied to Portland State University's MSW program the very next week. I was just sure this was where I was meant to be. Imagine my surprise when I learned I had been wait listed. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should just stick to the original plan.

So, in 2009 I accomplished my dream. Two days before I officially graduated with my bilingual teaching degree, I had a job lined up in the very district where I played teacher so many years ago. It didn't take long, however, before my "dream" turned into a nightmare. Suffice it to say, I hated teaching.

Though I have an intense fear of rejection, I was so miserable I had nothing to lose, so I applied to the MSW program again. I suffered through several excruciatingly long months until finally the day arrived when our admission statuses were posted online (as a friend of mine once pointed out: things were so much simpler in the good 'ole days of fat or skinny envelopes).

I remember this day so clearly. It was a half day, so everything was wonky and my kids were definitely pushing my every last button. My PSU admission status was to be posted by noon, which conveniently fell right in the middle of our 15 minute lunch (elementary kiddos get no time to eat). Not willing to risk collapsing into a pile of tears in front of my third graders, I forced myself to continue with business-as-usual and read "Tales of a 4th Grade Nothing" aloud to them while they scarfed down their disgusting bologna sandwiches drenched in mayo. Luckily, my kids love Fudge (the character, not the dessert), so they were pretty oblivious to my obvious discomfort. I kept glancing at the clock, anxiously awaiting 12:15 when my classroom door would open and belch out a smattering of giddy children, gleeful for their half-day of "freedom" (you know, because the other half of the day was "torture").

I closed all my blinds and tiptoed over to my computer. I casually logged into my student webcenter. I grabbed a kleenex, just in case. I took approximately four deep breaths. And then I did it.

I clicked the button that updated the screen that changed my life.

And I haven't looked back since.

Viva Vallarta! (otherwise known as the longest post ever)

2011-07-31T23:26:00.000-07:00

I've been an indisputable blog failure lately. Here's a ridiculously long post to make up for the past month.

DAY 1:

We were all too excited the night before, and we had to be at the airport by 4:00 am anyways, so none of us got any sleep. I somehow managed to cram all my things into a carry on bag, thereby saving myself the $50 it would cost to check a bag. Pretty impressive, right?

Hailey, myself, and Jenn. No sleep, no worries.


The view from the plane - this is the best part about taking off before sunrise.

We landed in Mexico, traversed the insanity of the airport, and checked into our GORGEOUS hotel suite.

Our view


We even had our own private little POOL on our deck!

We scurried into our swimsuits and hit the first beach-side restaurant we could find on the resort. Just in time for Happy Hour!

Then it was back up to the room to shower and change, hail a taxi, and head to Walmart. Yes, you read that correctly. There is a Walmart in Puerto Vallarta. Two of them actually. Normally I do not support this corporate monster, but we needed groceries and we needed them cheap. My Spanish skills proved beneficial, as we were able to convince our taxi driver to not only wait for us while we shopped, but he actually escorted us through Walmart and assisted us in locating everything as fast as possible.

We passed out by 10:30 pm. We were sleepy girls.

DAY 2:

We played at the pools (the resort had at least 10) allllll day. This included water aerobics and many floats down the "lazy river" (basically a long and narrow wave pool that wrapped around the perimeter of the pool area).

I even managed to locate a cabana bed to lay in, which of course made me feel like royalty.

Andrea and I

When we had finally had had enough chlorine, we returned to the room to get ready for our BIG NIGHT OUT. After several hours and even more wardrobe changes, we hitched a ride into town (our resort was approximately 30 mins outside of Puerto Vallarta).

The second we stepped out of our taxi, however, the skies opened up and dumped on us. We walked for 7 or 8 blocks in the pouring rain to find Pipi's, a well recommended restaurant. It was worth the walk - fresh guacamole prepared right at the table, margaritas the size of my head, and delicious food.

After Pipi's, we walked a bit further and stopped in at a karaoke bar, where I channeled my inner Gaga.

We danced awhile longer before returning home.

DAY 3:

We broke the computer in our hotel room and had to call for tech support. Which ended up not being such a bad thing since the computer tech was pretty cute - poor guy had no idea what he was walking into when he knocked on our door! I discovered a click lizard on our patio, which is reminiscent of my time in Costa Rica. Andrea and I also snuggled up with some books and enjoyed the nightly thunder and lightning storm from our patio.

DAY 4:

Andrea and I participated in Los Juegos Locos (The Crazy Games) at the activity pool. They happen every day at 3:00, and we were not going to let another opportunity pass us by!

We asked one of the bellboys for recommendations for a cheap restaurant on the resort (where everything was incredibly overpriced). He mentioned a taco shop near the entrance. We took a shuttle out there (this resort is seriously huge) only to discover the food was terrible. Not only that, we also got eaten alive by mosquitos while we waited for the shuttle to take us back. Finally we gave up and just walked.

I won't show you the picture of our bug bites on here. That seems more facebook appropriate.

DAY 5:

We decided to try our luck with the bus system, since taxis were far too expensive. We did some light souvenir shopping and some eating as well as walked around the board walk.

Hailey and I on the bus

DAY 6:

This was probably my favorite day! We went on a Canopy Ziplining Tour, which just happened to take place on the set of the old Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, "Predator." Ironically enough, none of us have ever seen the movie.

on the bus on our way to the tour

"The Chopper!"

After zipping across 12 incredible ziplines (one of them I even got to do upside down since I spoke Spanish), we enjoyed the beautiful fresh water swimming area, complete with rope swing and natural rock water slide.

That night we had the most massive storm I've ever seen in my life. It was raining so hard, we literally had to order room service because none of the restaurants on the resort were open. This was a neat treat for me since it was my first time EVER ordering room service. We got two pizzas for the low low price of $40. Ouch.

DAY 7:

We had way too much fun playing with underwater cameras (pictures haven't been uploaded yet) and lounging around poolside.

That night, we decided to get dressed up and see if we could convince one of the bellboys to take us into town for our last night in Mexico. Instead, we ended up running into one of our Canopy Tour guides, who took us on an adventure!

DAY 8:

I used my Spanish skills to barter with the front desk and allow us to check out of our room an hour later than normal. We packed up and enjoyed our final over-priced (but delicious) lunch at one of the poolside restaurants. Then we hailed a taxi to the airport... only to discover our flight was severely delayed. We spent 6 hours sitting in the airport, lamenting over the fact that we could have stayed and played more at the hotel. Instead we napped, watched movies on Jenn's laptop, and looked through our pictures for about the zillionth time, reliving this wonderful trip.

Can I go back?

The Score

2011-06-20T23:32:00.001-07:00

It's official:

New Zealand:1
Natalie: 0

(not) awkward and awesome thursday

2011-06-16T11:40:00.001-07:00

sorry guys, it's been one heck of a week. no awkward and awesomes from me (though I've certainly had plenty of them, just don't have time to write).

feel free to leave yours in the comments....

P.S. I found a place to LIVE!!!!

Am I the only one who finds it ironic...

2011-06-11T19:05:00.000-07:00

...that in VH1's new comedy series "Single Ladies," the man who won't get married shares the same name as my ex boyfriend?

I'm only 5 minutes into it and already saying, "mmmhmmm" and "amen" like a Southern Baptist in Church. You tell 'em, sister.

P.S. This is not a family friendly show. (aka mom and dad, don't google it)

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-06-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Watching movies with a family member when a sex scene comes on the screen. I thought the awkwardness went away after a certain age (you know, like, puberty), but nope, I still feel tooooootally weird about it.
Walking out of the grocery store with a super purposeful, "I'm about to get stuff done" stride, which is instantly halted by the frequent (we're talking, like, 9 times out of 10) realization: I have no idea where my car is parked.
Yawns that get caught in the back of your throat
I think Schuyler may have joined a cult. No seriously. Here's my evidence so far:

He recently drastically changed his physical appearance. New haircut, new glasses, new wardrobe. I hardly recognize the kid.
He dragged me to a super exclusive initiation ceremony a few weeks ago, to which he did not invite any of his family members
Lately he has been attending a lot of late night "meetings"
He keeps referencing getting "hooded" at a "hooding ceremony"
I found the following items ~~in his closet~~ conveniently laying around the house (hey, I'm no snoop!)

Creepy black robe with an odd colorful attachment

Close up of the odd attachment thing. It came with some sort of diagram, which I was unable to decipher.

Zoom in, if you can, on the symbols. WHAT?!??!

AWESOME:

I'm officially halfway to a MASTER'S DEGREE!!!
Drinking maybe a little too much at happy hour to celebrate bullet point number one, deciding to go shopping, ending up at Nordstrom Rack, and finding a pair of dark skinny jeans for $4! Perhaps I shall go post-happy hour shopping more often.
Snickerdoodle Muffins. You have got to try these. DELICIOUS.
Schuyler got a job!!! He's going back to our old stomping grounds, Western Oregon University, as the Coordinator of Housing Operations and Conference Programs. YEAAAA!
The super sweet birthday gift I bought for Shoes. It's a really neato wine rack. Here's a picture, so you can see how awesome it is for yourself:

My bloggie needs a make over

2011-06-06T10:43:00.000-07:00

Any volunteers?

As I previously mentioned, I'm terrible with this sort of thing.

Continuing in the theme of self disclosure...

2011-06-05T14:20:00.000-07:00

Ashton Kutcher, when are you coming over with my mix CD and cupcakes?

Things are getting real

2011-06-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Please don't read this post if you don't want to feel sucked into my emotional drama.

Nearly 9 months ago, I sat at a picnic table in my back yard and cried on the phone to my sister. She was sweetly trying to set me up on a blind date with her friend's brother, and all I could think about was how much I missed him. How I could never possibly date another man because that man wouldn't be him.

A few months later, he knocked on my door with four embarrassingly huge bouquets of flowers and an apology. So we tried again.

Friday, I sat at that same picnic table. Alone this time. Shivering in the sunshine and crying hot, angry tears. I've known they were coming for quite some time, but I was still shocked to feel how quickly they washed over me. I was defenseless.

It's not so much that I miss him this time, because I know that we made the right decision.

It's more that I miss us. Or rather, being a part of an "us."

I'm so terrible at being alone.

8 random things you might not know about me:

2011-06-03T18:48:00.000-07:00

1. I am obsessed with chewing gum. OBSESSED. I chew it so frequently, I have to tear the pieces in half to make a pack last longer than a week. Yikes.

2. I tried brussel sprouts for the first time at work last month. And I didn't hate them.

3. Sometimes when my upstairs neighbors are being real obnoxious, I lay my pillow directly on top of my sound machine in hopes the white noise will more directly permeate my eardrum.

4. I've never been kissed (or kissed anyone, for that matter) under mistle toe.

5. I am one of the least technologically updated persons of my generation that I know. Schuyler actually had to give me a tutorial on how to use his iPad to watch a movie the other night. As in, "This is how you turn it on. This is how you select the movie. This is the volume control. This is how you pause the movie..."

6. The movie I watched on the iPad was "No Strings Attached," which is definitely heavier on the comedy, lighter on the romance... and while it made me laugh, it also made me feel like crap. Ayiyi.

7. Tomorrow, I'm co-facilitating a round table presentation on anti-oppressive, gender responsive, housing first, wraparound community based practices for women experiencing chronic homelessness. And I know what every single one of those terms mean. Another way to read this: I'm kind of a big deal.

8. I just booked a vacation to Puerto Vallarta with some of my girlfriends!!!! We're going in July. Jenn's parents gifted her their timeshare points for graduation (she's now an MAT), and we get to spend a week in this gorgeous resort and all I have to pay for is my flight and cost of food (which I plan on eating a lot of... yumm).

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-06-02T11:05:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Reminiscing in the computer lab yesterday about how terrified I initially was to switch from floppy disks to jump drives ... and feeling really old.

You better believe I had a fancy case like this for mine.

Searching for roommates on craigslist. So far I've come across a lot of ads for "420 friendly" and "vegans only" houses or 40 year old men. Yikes.

I hung up the phone with a friend last week and instead of saying goodbye, he said "Well, probably see you on facebook later." So sad, but so true.
Frantically trying to put your change back into your wallet at the bank or the store. I don't know why, but I always feel soooo awkward. Actually, I do know why:
1) The bank teller/cashier has already said "Have a nice day/night!" to me. And I've appropriately responded. And yet, I'm still standing there.
2) The person standing behind me is waiting. Come on guys, nobody likes an audience.
3) I'm OCD about how I store my money in my wallet. I prefer to put like-bills together, so I can find them easier next time.
4) They always hand you your coins first, and then your bills - into the same hand. What am I supposed to do with that? So I have to transfer them from one hand to the other, zip open the coin pouch, put the coins away, sort through the bills to put them in the correct order, put them in their pocket, return my wallet to my backpack/purse, and walk away. It's stressful.

AWESOME:

Rubber cement. My most favorite adhesive.
Tonight I'm going on a fun date with my friend Charisse to watch Schuyler's Comps Presentation. We're so proud of that kid!
Target now has a full grocery section.

This could either be the best, or the worst, thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

Good hair days.
The Asteroids Galaxy, "The Golden Age." The twins got me hooked. Yes, you're reading this correctly. My one year old niece and nephew got me hooked on a song.

Reasons I Love Living with Schuyler (and will miss him dearly next year):

2011-05-31T12:22:00.000-07:00

1. He brings me mixers coated in chocolate peanut butter cookie dough - for breakfast.

2. Sometimes, he goes on these crazed cleaning sprees. Kid you not, I walked in the other day to find him frantically scrubbing the KNOBS on the oven.

3. Not only does he cook for me at least once a week, but often he packages the left overs into lunch-size-ready-to-go tupperware, veggies included.

4. He gets angry at technology. Frequently. It's not even a little bit uncommon to hear him cursing at the TV or computer screen. Makes me laugh.

5. He knows his way around Portland and the trimet system better than most people I know - INVALUABLE, given how clueless I am.

6. Anytime I begin making a meal and it ends up disastrous (this happens more often than you'd think), Schuyler pops his head into the kitchen and somehow saves the day.

7. When you're a grad student, living with another grad student is wonderful. Neither one of us needs to explain ourselves for going to bed at 10:30. On a Friday night.

8. Six words: triple-layer chocolate peanut butter cake.

9. We both share a love of red wine, a passion for recycling, an affinity for flossing, and a fascination with the netti pot. Hygienic Hippies.

10. He shares the TV remote. Even if it means watching Glee, What Not To Wear, and Sister Wives.

11. (updated THIS morning): He came to my room, knocked on my door, and informed me he had prepared a fresh mug of coffee for me. Just because.

"Monkey Hugs" - this used to be our traditional greeting!

End-of-Training Banquet, RA style.

Schuyler's favorite picture of us.

Roommates = twins. Schuyler designed these sweatshirts, btw. It's my favorite one I own.

He hates this one, but I LOVE it. :) Doesn't he look nice in his new glasses??

Prayer Request

2011-05-29T01:45:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I'm currently seeking a new roommate and a new place to live. My fabulous/intelligent/hilarious/clean/talented (especially in the kitchen) roommate is graduating and moving on to bigger and better things (TBD).

While I couldn't be more excited for him, it kind of leaves little 'ole me in a lurch.

I have a few different options, not a single one of which is ideal...and we turn in our 30 day notice in a week. Needless to say, I'm freaking out.

Would you please pray that I find some peace? And fast!

Ordinary Joy

2011-05-28T01:59:00.000-07:00

Coming home to a quiet, clean, empty house.

Schuyler is gone for the weekend and the middle child in me is loving all this much-needed alone time.

There are many reasons why I love Glee!

2011-05-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

One of them being the fact that in this week's episode, in an attempt to "feel better," one of the girls chopped off her hair. Mmmhmmm, sister. I get it.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-05-26T01:24:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Attending Schuyler's induction ceremony into Phi Kappa Phi (a sophisticated, exclusive, invite-only honors society)... meanwhile, the Queer Resource Center is having a concert in the park blocks just outside the windows. It was like my two worlds collided.
The 15-minute sunburn I received on my freshly exposed neck. My first short-haircut casualty.
When my upstairs neighbors forget to turn off their alarm before getting in the shower... at 5:00am. Seriously? Do they EVER sleep?
The sour-smelling man with size 38 Double D breasts who squished into the seat next to me on the bus Monday morning. How do I know the exact size of his breasts, you ask? Well, because he spent the entire commute talking about them.
Accidentally letting it slip to Schuyler that we have a bed bug outbreak at work. Have had it since I started, actually. Ooopsies.

AWESOME:

The birthday flowers I got from work two weeks ago are currently sitting on my desk and still just as gorgeous as ever!
There is a children's fencing club that practices in the park outside my house. So adorably impressive!
Mystery Birthday Packages from Amazon.com. Mad props to my baby sister for pulling off a truly epic birthday surprise.
E-mailing my final process recording for my first year of grad school. I did a legitimate happy dance after I clicked the send button.
Lazy Susans. Which remind me of the original 1968 version of "Yours, Mine, and Ours." Specifically the scene where Lucille Ball is served a few too many screwdrivers by Henry Fonda's kids. Ohhh sweet childhood memories. (PS If you haven't seen this version, I demand you watch it before the summer is over)

Especially true for statistics...

2011-05-25T01:21:00.000-07:00

"In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them." -Johann von Neumann

Don't know who this guy was (is?), but he's a genius. Here's to just two more weeks until freedom!

I have the greatest friends...

2011-05-24T01:21:00.000-07:00

After one too many birthday drinks at Happy Hour, I apparently lamented my first century insecurities to a handful of social work friends. Imagine my delight when, rather than admonishing me for having such silly dreams at such a young age, one of them kindly and discreetly passed this little tidbit of trivia on to me the next day:

In Saturday's Oregonian they reported on the latest national Census data about marriages. One of the findings: "Since 1986, the proportion of women ages 25 to 29 who have never married increased from 27 percent to 47 percent." It sounds like lots of women are having a challenging time finding the right guy.

So... it's not just me.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-05-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Hanging out with someone you used to date... all norms of communication are suddenly changed.
Both children on my final home visit had snot the color and consistency of - well, I just won't finish that sentence because I think you get the idea. (needless to say, I've doused myself in sanitizer and my clothes are already in the washing machine)
For some reason, my gmail decided today that instead of 9 new e-mails, I have 1452.
Armpit hair.
Walking in a certain direction and then realizing that I actually need to be going the other direction … an awkward moment in and of itself. So what's the only logical reaction for a situation like this? Of course whipping out my cell phone, feigning an urgent text and furrowing my brow so that anyone who's watching me knows there's some kind of explanation for my abrupt 180. You know you do it!

AWESOME
- Waking up to beautiful sunshine on my birthday. Makes the fact that it was the God-awful hour of 5:30(am) slightly more bearable!
- Getting the most wonderful, thoughtful, simple gifts from people. Did I mention I had an amazing birthday?
- Today I wore SHORTS to work. I love Spring!
- This text from Vanessa: "Drove past a church wit ha reader board that says: 'Still here? So are we! Service Sunday at 11' A little early, but still hilarious." Agreed.
- The innocent and easy laughter of a small child. I am so blessed by the many varied opportunities I have to witness this over the course of just one week.

please allow me a moment to covet some more

2011-05-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

I still want these

.... but now I kind of want these too.

Birthday Highlights

2011-05-17T23:08:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I had a joint birthday party with three of my favorite girlfriends who all happen to share May birthdays with me. It was the first time I can remember (gasp) SHARING my birthday party with anyone. And you know what? I loved it.

From left to right: me, Kaitlynn, Leslie, and Casey

We couldn't stop giggling while they sang to us.

Joelle made us the most BEAUTIFUL cakes.

Including individual "smash cakes" for each of the birthday girls. Are we lucky or what?

We hosted a potluck and then a Minute to Win It Tournament, which had me literally doubled over in laughter more times than I can count. So fun!

Game One: PENNY HOSE

Remove two pennies, located at the toes of the pantyhose, using only your fingers.

Game Two: NOSE DIVE.

Step one: apply petroleum jelly to your nose

Dip your freshly lubed nose into a bowl filled with cotton balls until at least one sticks.

Transport that cotton ball across the room to another bowl, and shake your head vigorously until the cotton ball falls off your nose and into the bowl. Repeat this process 4 times.

Here's a shot of me on my knees in laughter. And this was only the beginning!

Game Three: FACE THE COOKIE!

Begin with a cookie on your forehead.

Using only the muscles in your face, transport that cookie from your forehead into your mouth.

It was SO hard not to use my hands.

Seriously silly.


This would be my celebration dance. If you look closely you can see the cookie, successfully wedged between my teeth.

Game Four: ELEPHANT MARCH

Wearing a pair of pantyhose with a baseball in the toe...


...swing your head back and forth like an elephant trunk to knock over 6 water bottles.

Game Six: TILT-A-CUP

One partner bounces ping pong balls onto the floor while the other tries to catch them in the stack of cups.

Each time a ping pong ball is successfully caught, that cup moves to the bottom of the stack.

The round continues until all 7 cups have been rotated through the stack. As you can see from this picture, things get a little wobbly.

Game Seven: NOODLING AROUND

Using a piece of uncooked angel hair pasta in your mouth

string 6 uncooked penne pastas

without breaking the angel hair pasta.

After Minute to Win It, some of the party guests offered to drive me over to the local karaoke bar for a quick song song (wouldn't be a birthday if there wasn't any karaoke):

Then, yesterday (my actual birthday), several friends met me at a bar on campus for Happy Hour in between classes. So fun.

I am blessed.

25

2011-05-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

That's how old I am. Yup, one quarter of a century.

I know some day I'll be looking back on this and thinking, "Man, I was so young and naive." But for the past 25 years, I've considered 25 to be kind of a major milestone. And well, I'm just not anywhere near where I always dreamed I would be. This realization has the potential to spin me into a quarter-life crisis, so I've decided to combat this negativity with some of my very favorite things: LISTS! 5 of them actually, each containing 5 items. Get it? 5 lists of 5 = 25 things. ENJOY!

5 Things I'm Grateful I Haven't Done:

Been stung by a bee
Broken a bone
Had major surgery (wisdom teeth don't count)
Gotten fired from a job
Been in a car accident (unless you count the time when I was 15 and I backed into the church van... or the other time I backed into the neighbor's car)

5 Surprising Things I (still) Can't Do:

Skip rocks
Whistle
Blow up Balloons
Peel an orange
Drive a stick shift

5 Exciting Things I've Done:

Assist in the construction of 5 houses in Tecate, Mexico (beginning at age 12)
Sky dive and Parasail

Sky Diving, 23rd Birthday

Parasailing - Mazatlan, Mexico 2007

Study abroad (pre-digital camera era)
Milk a cow

22nd Birthday

Graduate with a Bachelor's Degree

Summa Cum Laude

5 Things I Hope to Do:

Order room service
Take a journey in a hot air balloon (can you tell I have a thing for heights?)
Get married
Create life
Ride in a gondola in Venice

5 Most Important Parts of My Life:

Jesus
Family
Friends
Love
Laughter

Matters of the Heart

2011-05-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

After the nurse took my pulse today, she asked "Do you exercise?" Confused, I responded, "Well, yes, I do." She smiled and said, "Your heart rate is incredibly healthy. It appears your heart pumps blood very efficiently."

Well, at least it's doing something right.

Pardon me for getting a little sad and sappy here (and long-winded), but I just need an outlet. You see, all my life, I've dreamed of getting married. I married my first husband, Terry Morris, in the play closet under the stairs when we were in kindergarten. My childhood best friend, Jaqueline Poston, was our officiant. Instead of a ring, he gave me a plastic "pearl" bracelet, which he earned as a prize from the dentist earlier that day.

After Terry came Mike Maziarz, my neighbor. We were the only two kids our age in the neighborhood, so the poor boy had to suffer through many hours of girlish play. This was more a common law marriage, by default of the game of "house," as we never had a formal wedding.

It was several years before I acquired another husband. Sophomore year of high school, economics class. We did a marriage budgeting project and Tim Liudahl and I were partnered together. Our marriage lasted approximately 3 class periods. Ah, love.

By the way, all three of my previous "husbands" are currently either lawfully married or seriously close to it. As are the majority of my ex boyfriends - most of whom married the woman they began dating next, after me. Just call me "Good Luck Chuck"

Of course I can look back over all of these past relationships and see how much I've learned from them. Some lessons are comical, some are certainly beneficial, and some are absolutely heartbreaking. My desperation to be married has caused me to overlook severe warning signs and to remain in unpleasant situations longer (sometimes much longer) than I should have because "Damnit, I'm going to make this one work."

Now before you think I'm hyperbolizing, I will freely admit that it wasn't all bad. Nor were they (the ex-boyfriends, that is) all bad. I've dated some really incredible men and I've been blessed with some really great memories. I also know that marriage is not all candles, kisses, and roses. And I am fully aware that there are many women out there who would kill to have experienced at least one breakup because at least that means they had a relationship to begin with. To those women, I say this: the saying "the grass is always greener" has never been more true.

But right now, I don't want to think about those things. Right now I want to think about how, again, I've failed to follow through on my dream.

I've been doing the cliche cry-at-weddings thing for years now. Last night was no exception. My sweet friend, Brenda - after years (more years than I will publish here) of waiting, dating, crying, and praying - finally heard the words "I do." The ceremony was beautiful and I teared up a little as they stood forehead to forehead in prayer. I rallied quickly and smiled and laughed my way through dinner. Then came their first dance as husband and wife. I joined the other wedding guests around the perimeter of the dance floor and buried my face behind the lens of my point-and-shoot camera, snapping a few facebook shots to tide her over until the professional photos were edited (hey, this isn't my first rodeo, folks). But it didn't take long for me to get caught up in the lyrics of the song, which they were preciously singing to one another, seemingly oblivious to all of us on-lookers, lost in love.

I felt hot tears stinging my eyes, threatening to escape down my cheeks and expose my secret heart break. Suddenly the room was closing in on me and I couldn't seem to breathe properly anymore. Before I knew it I was slipping away from the crowd and practically running towards a door in the buffet room, propped open by the caterers. Once outside, I gripped the railing and began to cry. Lord, I know he's out there somewhere. But where? When will it be my turn? When will I finally get it right?

I'm no conspiracy theorist and I'm not sold on the latest claims that May 21st is "Judgment Day." And yet, every time I drive into Salem and I see that billboard with the countdown, it's like a slap in the face of how little my faith is. I can't even be excited at the prospect that Jesus could be returning because I've still got things I need to do here. I have plans, God. Don't You know that?

In my mind, I know that my plans are small potatoes compared to what He has for me. He promises it, and I'm called to trust. I should desire His will for my life above all else. I know this. But if I can just publicly admit to you all in bloggerland the greatest battle of my faith, it's this: in my mind I know these things to be true, but somewhere along the line I lost that same confidence in my heart.

So, until I can find it again, I'm clinging to these few gems of hope:

Psalm 138:8 "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me."

Psalm 18:24 "God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."

Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart. For it is the wellspring of life."

Ephesians 5:2 (a verse I will have read at my wedding some day, Lord willing) "Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with Him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn't love in order to get something from us, but to give everything of Himself to us. Love like that."

1 Thessalonians 5:16 (my life verse): "Be joyful always."

Even in this season, I will choose joy. I will choose hope. I will choose faith. And someday, I pray, the reward for all of this will be LOVE.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-05-13T15:08:00.000-07:00

Blogger is freaking out. Sorry for the delay...

AWKWARD:

I can't fall asleep without socks... and I can't stay asleep with them on. My feet always get too hot in the middle of the night and I rip them off, causing a daily scavenger hunt for the missing sock.
Conspiracy Theories
Speaking of socks, how awkward is it when you are wearing just your stalking feet and accidentally step into a wet drop in the kitchen. I despise wet socks! Actually, I pretty much despise being wet in any kind of clothing.
The "wildlife" at my new job. Frequently I see raccoons roaming the premises and a co-worker just reported spotting 3 coyotes near her car after she left the other night. Does pepper spray work on animals?
This (sorry if it grosses you out):

AWESOME:

Schuyler got new glasses, and he looks way sexy (and he definitely didn't tell me to write this, ha)
Buying $28 worth of stuff at Target for a mere $1.10. THANK JESUS FOR COUPONS!

It's almost my birthday!!!
Home made Mother's Day crafts:

Going for a haircut, flipping a coin, and deciding to do THIS:

What do you think??

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

It makes me laugh every time:

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-05-05T17:56:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Stubbing your toes in an attempt to be productive while brushing your teeth. Multi-tasking is apparently not my thing.
Being on your period when your only roommate is a boy. No sympathy, I tell ya.
Celebrating someone's death. Yes, Osama Bin Laden was an evil man, there's no doubt about it. But I feel a strange sense of trepidation about the whole thing.
This commercial:

The nearly nonverbal game of musical chairs I play every Monday while riding the bus. Example: When I first got on the bus, I sat on the aisle side. I proceeded to pull out my text book and started reading, but I was keenly aware when the woman next to me began fidgeting with her bags. Instinctively, I knew this meant her stop was coming up so I prepared myself to do the awkward shuffle into the overcrowded aisle while she got out, followed by a scooting of all my things into the seat near the window.
Shortly after a man joined me in the now empty aisle seat. I was reading again, but when we reached the stop before mine, I began putting my things away. He, of course, interpreted my nonverbals and asked, "Is this your stop?" I replied, "No, it's the next one. It's not for quite a while." (Seriously, 4 intersections at 7:40 am in downtown Portland really does take awhile). He either didn't hear me or chose not to because before I knew it, he was doing the awkward shuffle into the aisle. So of course I had to oblige him and scoop up my belongings and move out of my seat, only to be stuck standing awkwardly in the aisle next to him for the next several minutes while we crawled up the hill to my stop. Thanks guy.

AWESOME:
- Successfully putting the twins down for bed by myself. This included dinner, bath, and bottles. Lucas may have peed on the floor while I was changing his sister - causing Abbey to spend a few extra minutes with an arm sticking out of the neck-hole of her onesie - but I'm proud to announce both babies (and their favorite auntie) are alive.
- When someone else picks out my outfit for me. I really hate deciding what to wear each day.
- Cherry-red toe nails.
- I've sleep trained myself, much like a baby. I didn't realize how routinized I was until I had to go to bed at 5:30pm in order to prepare for my overnight shift at my new job. I popped my heating pad into the microwave, pulled my blackout curtains closed tight, turned on my sound machine, and voila I was tired. Praise Jesus.
- SPRING SUNSHINE! Spring is hands down my FAVORITE season of the year.

I need a change

2011-05-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

I'm considering doing this again:

Aaaannndd discuss.

Did you see this?

2011-05-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Who knew our President was so funny?

P.S. Why do my videos always get cut in half like that? Does anyone know how to fix it?

Childlike Faith

2011-05-01T10:01:00.000-07:00

My community group volunteered to help with the 3-5 year olds in church a few weeks back. While coloring with a precious little girl named Charley, she sweetly informed me:

"We can't see Jesus, but we can color pictures of Him!"

It's MY blog

2011-04-30T02:20:00.000-07:00

so that means I can post all the vague, passive-aggressive song lyrics I want.

"Well it's a winding road
When your in the lost and found
You're a lover I'm a runner
We go 'round 'n 'round
And I love you but I leave you
I don't want you but I need you
You know it's you who calls me back here

Oh I wanna see you again
But I'm stuck in colder weather
Maybe tomorrow will be better
Can I call you then
Cause I'm a ramblin' man
I ain't ever gonna change
I gotta gypsy soul
And I was born for leavin' (born for leavin')"

-Colder Weather, Zac Brown Band

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-04-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

The kokahugamongo (aka, really really big) spider that appeared in the periphery of my vision the other night, causing me to SHRIEK and wake an almost sleeping Schuyler. While the shrieking may hint at some silly weakness of mine, I will have it be known that I did the spider shmooshing all by myself, thank you very much.
Attempting to catch up on reading homework in the lobby of the School of Social Work, which resulted instead in me being a Chatty Cathy with just about everyone who walked by. I shouldn't complain though, at least it means people like me enough to want to talk. :)
Sideways rain. There's only so much a hood or umbrella can do to protect you when the rain is falling practically horizontally.
Joelle thinks her arm looks awkward in this picture (from Easter Sunday):

I think it's more awkward in this one (no offense, mine is awkward in this one, too):

Finally we got this not awkward shot:

And just for fun, here's one from us last Easter. :)

AWESOME:

Schuyler's mom gave him an Easter basket, which he foolishly left in the living room. HELLOOOOO candy. :)
31 cent scoop night at Baskin Robbins. And the fact that Lent is over so I can enjoy both the candy AND the cheap ice cream.
How fancy I feel in my professional pants.
This deliciously awkward video (so awkward it's awesome):

By the way...

2011-04-26T00:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the prayers for Schuyler! Many of you have asked how the interview went. He won't find out officially for a few weeks (which is KILLING him), but he feels really confident about his trip. And he's totally surprised to hear that so many people who haven't even met him not only prayed for him, but also took the time to follow up on their prayers and ask about him. Through your sweet acts of faith, I'm able to talk to him openly about prayer and you all are showing him how fabulous it truly is.

Thanks!

A miniature rant

2011-04-25T18:40:00.000-07:00

I'm frequently asked by friends when my next trip to Salem will be. "We miss you," they say. "It's been too long," they say. "We should hang out next time you're in town," they say.

So I just figured I'd take this opportunity to formally (as formally as I can on a personal blog that no one but my family reads) remind everyone: I-5 goes both ways. Just as I can drive it into Salem so can you drive it up to Beaverton.

I know I shouldn't complain because their questioning really means I have friends who actually like me and want to spend time with me... but it would be nice if people came to visit me every once in awhile.

It's Easter!

2011-04-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

You know what that means, right?

JELLY BEANS!

And BLOGS!

Oh and, of course, MERCY, GRACE, and REDEMPTION.

Thank You, Jesus, for showing me what True Love means. For loving me so much you gave your very life. And not just so that I could continue living, but so I could live life the way You designed - a life far beyond my dreams or the limitations of this world.

On this earth, I will live and then I will die. But You, Jesus, on this earth You died and then you LIVED. The greatest love story every told was written from the very beginning:

"'Oh, you're real! Oh, Aslan!' cried Lucy and both girls flung themselves upon him and covered him with kisses.
'But what does it all mean?' asked Susan when they were somewhat calmer.
'It means,' said Aslan, 'that though the Witch knew the Deep Magic, there is a magic deeper still which she did not know. Her knowledge goes back only to the dawn of Time. But if she could have looked a little further back, into the stillness and the darkness before Time dawned, she would have read there a different incantation. She would have known that when a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor's stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards.

- C.S. Lewis in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe"

That girl has got gumption!

2011-04-23T14:41:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know yet, my new job involves working with pregnant and parenting teen girls. That's about all I'm going to say about it on here, for privacy sake, but if you want to know more feel free to ask me personally.

In any case, this is a population that really has a hold on my heart. I may not be a mother yet myself, but I know a lot of fabulous women who are. And while I think being a mother sounds like the most incredible and amazing thing in the world and I honestly cannot wait for my chance, I also am not naive. Motherhood is wonderful... and also insanely and unbelievably difficult. Even for the most "prepared" and "supported" women in this world.

Even for those women who are financially stable. Who have a roof over their heads, a steady (albeit not always large) income, and a caring co-parent and extended family members to help them. Even for those women who have transportation and insurance for medical support, finances and literacy skills to purchase and read "What To Expect" and all the other zillions of pregnancy books out there, and fun baby showers filled with both practical (diapers and wipes) and ridiculous (frilly dresses and patent leather baby shoes) gifts. Even for those women who "have it all," motherhood is hard.

Imagine how much harder it must be for a girl who loses friends, family, and support because she finds out she is pregnant. Who cannot complete her education, and therefor cannot get a job, because she goes into labor before the end of her senior year. Who lacks a supportive co-parent, who doesn't have a steady roof over her head, nor access to the aforementioned advice books. Whose friends don't throw her a baby shower and who struggles to get even the most basic supplies for her child.

Sure, a lot of people might say "She should have thought about that before she started having sex." And sure, there's some truth to that argument. But without rambling for tooo much longer, I will say these three things:

1) For some women in our society (more than we would care to think about), sex is not a choice.

2) As long as we continue to deny the fact that sex is happening and refuse to talk openly about contraceptives and how to do it safely, teens will continue to get pregnant. Abstinence may be ideal, but it's not reality.

3) Regardless of whether or not she made the choice, and whether or not her choice is one you agree with, the new life is there. It's forming in her womb and the woman that carries it deserves to be nurtured just as much as the baby itself.

These girls need our love and our support, not the secrets, stereotypes, and stigmatization.

I'm so impressed by the story below, of a young girl who sacrificed her senior year to expose the truth. I really want to read her report, and I hope that her project sparks the kind of awakening our society so desperately needs.

Enjoy:

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2014835260_apwafakepregnancy.html

Good Friday

2011-04-22T12:43:00.000-07:00

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died

"Tue Love" by Phil Wickham.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-04-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Locking your keys in your car just as you arrive to a client's home for a home visit. Thank God for AAA.
The fact that my cheap (but cute, that's why I bought it) alarm clock insists on going off twice every Monday morning, no matter how I set it.
Resumes. I can never seem to get mine to look right.
Elevator rides. With just you and one other person. To talk or not to talk?
Sometimes when I'm working out in my living room, someone will walk right up to my window to either do landscaping or work on the power box that's located just outside it, causing me to hit the floor and crawl super awkwardly over to the cord to close the blinds so they can't see me in all my sweaty glory.

AWESOME:

Free Portland Timbers tickets - in the Key Club section. Fancy.

The fact that said free tickets also came with free food. Okay so maybe it was just cheap hot dogs and pretzels. Ask me if I care - everything tastes better when its free.
Speaking of free things, how about the FREE magic show Q, Schuyler and I got to go to last night? It was with this guy, who was on America's Got Talent.
The sunshine! One of my friends said Oregonian's should get "sun days" like we do "snow days," you know, since they're both so rare...
Boyfriend is learning Spanish!

Seriously?

2011-04-20T00:50:00.000-07:00

This is an actual line in one of the Computer Policies for my job: "Please refrain from using all-caps in emails. It is considered screaming."

Good to know.

So excited for this guy:

2011-04-18T10:41:00.000-07:00

My roommate, Schuyler.

Who is flying out to Las Vegas TODAY for an intensive, all-day interview at UNLV (University of Nevada, Las Vegas) TOMORROW (Tuesday).

We did a fashion show to test interview outfits.

His first post-graduate, big boy job.

I'm so proud. :)

Would you join me in praying for him?

Lent

2011-04-17T14:16:00.000-07:00

Saying goodbye to sweets is hard, of course, but it's getting tough not to read my favorite blogs.

Especially when my friends (who know of my Lenten Sacrifice, ahem, JOELLE) tag me in blog posts on facebook, so everyone knows I've been mentioned in a blog that everyone else can read but me.

Sigh.

Only one more week!

P.S. This is the first year in as long as I can remember that I will not be purchasing a new dress for Easter. Also, no one has invited me over for Easter Dinner. (hint hint)

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-04-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

Ahh guys, I've been a failure at blogging this week. No picture or anything today either, sorry guys. I'm kind of lame.

But at least I remembered to write a post.... So here we go:

AWKWARD:

Your boss throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of a meeting. And then never apologizing for it.
Getting a bloody nose in the middle of class while a peer is presenting. Should I be rude and get up out of my seat or just take care of business right there and then deal with the evidence during a break? (I opted for the latter... does that make me like these people?)
The bar, Copper John's, in Salem. It's pretty foul.
The grow out on my hair dye job. Luckily it's only the under part of my hair so you can't really see it unless I have it pulled up, but it's pretty awful.
Riding a different bus home and not knowing when/where to get off. Then having to walk 3/4 mile on a dark road with no sidewalk and no shoulder. I carried my cellphone in one hand and my pepper spray (finger on the trigger) in the other. Ha.

AWESOME:

My roommate rescuing me from the side of aforementioned dark and scary road halfway into my commute. THANK YOU SCHUYLER!
I got the job!
My purse arrived in the mail yesterday and I love it even more in person than I ever did in photograph. Such a happy girl!
My community group girls surprised me with a card and get-well cookies (which I put in the freezer until Easter, duh!) on Monday. It was SO sweet and unexpected. I'm so blessed by them.
Trying out new crockpot recipes... and finding them to be delicious. I received approval from both Schuyler and Quinn on the split pea soup recipe I got from Jules. Keep 'em coming friends.

The Smart Phone

2011-04-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

I've been opposed to the smart phone for quite some time now. Who needs all those gadgets? Really? Perhaps these are just the bitter ramblings of a jealous girlfriend (Boyfriend's iPhone receives quite a bit of attention), but I feel like a phone should be just that: a phone.

Technically my phone could be considered a smart phone. It's an old-school Blackberry. It looks kind of like this (only imagine dropping it at least 52 times and leaving it overnight in a rain puddle outside your apartment):

The only reason I purchased such a nice phone was because it was on super sale. Also, it was the first phone in 5 years of cellphone owning that I had ever purchased (my parents gifted me my original phone when I began driving, and as my friends upgraded to new phones over the years I used their hand-me-downs). Also, I had just accidentally flushed my latest hand-me-down phone down the toilet.

RIP Nokia. Best phone I ever had.

Anyways, I have a fancy phone, but basically all I use it for is phone calls and texting. No internet for me. And I've been JUST FINE with that... until recently.

You see, I'm a texter. Especially in class. Especially in 4 hour long grad school classes. And, while the full keyboard my phone offers is most excellent for texting purposes, its keys are noisy. Don't get me wrong, I still loathe touch screens (my fumble fingers can't ever seem to hit the right "buttons"). But they sure are handy when you want to be sneaky.

Also, during my job interview on Friday, I was left in a room with a paper application to fill out, and I did not have nearly any of the information I needed to do it. The address and phone number for my previous places of employment? No clue. I sure coulda used the internet then. But instead, my noises keys and I frantically texted my friends so they could search the information on their respective smart phones and then get back to me. And I survived.

I will hold out as long as I can before I give in to you, smart phone.

YIPPEEEE!

2011-04-08T07:50:00.000-07:00

Despite the distinct snufalufagus tone to my speech (still!), I am a happy girl today for two particular reasons:

1. I have a job interview at 1:00. So if by some chance you read this before then, maybe shoot up some prayers that they can overlook my sicky face and decide they simply cannot continue operating as an organization one single day longer without me as an employee.

2. My sisters Amanda and Vanessa just surprised me by ending my long, suffering, unrequited love for this purse. It's an early birthday present. It should arrive at my doorstep next week. YEEEEE!!!!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-04-07T08:32:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

The hubcap falling off my wheel while merging onto Highway 26 during rush hour traffic. Sorry cheap piece of metal, but I'm not risking my life to retrieve you. (Also awkward, the fact that I only have 2 remaining hubcaps. My car is CLASSY.)
Trying to learn how to use SPSS, statistics software. Groan.
Creatively attempting to describe how I feel with this Spring Cold. The best description actually came from Fred Molesworth's facebook status "I feel like the south end of a northbound horse." haha.
So, I'm walking along the sidewalk to church last Sunday and I notice a girl walking a few steps behind me, headed the same direction. Given my deep loathing for awkward sidewalk experiences, I slow down my pace, wait for her to catch up to me and cheerfully ask, "You going to Door of Hope, too?" She nods and I stick out my hand for a shake and introduce myself. She appears uncomfortable, so I smile and explain how I hate walking awkwardly along the sidewalk with a stranger and not saying anything. She responds with, "Hmm, I guess I never really thought of that as awkward." Well, if that isn't awkward, this sure is!
I feel like I have multiple personalities, since only half of my face is stuffed up.

AWESOME:

My sweet new rain jacket that Boyfriend bought me. Technically it was a Christmas present, but I just got it and I kind of really love it.

Pardon my I've-been-sick-and-haven't-left-the-house look, here.

The park that is my backyard. You can kind of see part of it in the background of the above picture.
The piece of legislation I chose to follow for my generalist class this term. HB2800 - a farm-to-school nutrition program. I love it!
Kids' Night Out at the Boys and Girls Club. Given everything that's going on with budget cuts, these kids are really going to suffer from a decrease in services. And even though we don't talk to them directly about it, I know they can sense the stress. Kids' Night Out was the exact opposite of all of that, however. 150 kids, 150 adult volunteers, and tons of fun and exciting activities (including REPTILE MAN). Better yet, my friend Maegan (we've been friends since the 1st grade) and I were buddied with two second graders who were also friends, so we got to spend the whole evening hanging out together.

Psalm 8 (and my attempt to be semi-artsy.... ha)

2011-04-06T12:50:00.000-07:00

Psalm 8
(from The Message)

God, brilliant Lord,

yours is a household name.

Nursing infants gurgle choruses about you;

toddlers shout the songs

That drown out enemy talk,

and silence atheist babble.

I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous,

your handmade sky-jewelry,

Moon and stars mounted in their settings.

(photo by Q Neely)

Then I look at my micro-self and wonder,

Why do you bother with us?

Why take a second look our way?

Yet we've so narrowly missed being gods,

bright with Eden's dawn light.

You put us in charge of your handcrafted world,

repeated to us your Genesis-charge,

Made us lords of sheep and cattle,

even animals out in the wold

Birds flying and fish swimming,

whales singing in the ocean deeps.

God, brilliant Lord,

your name echoes around the world.

Is it possible to feel unrequited love for an inanimate object?

2011-04-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

Such as this purse:

It was originally, like, $65. It went on sale for $48. I contacted all my friends to see if I could afford it. They assured me I could not. Now it is on sale AGAIN, this time for $32.95.

Oh material possessions and the faltering economy, why must you taunt me so?

In lieu of anything original by me...

2011-04-03T00:53:00.000-07:00

... please enjoy the following youtube videos that have entertained and inspired me this weekend.

This one makes me giggle every time! It takes about 30 seconds to get into it, but watch her face. So funny!

Approximately 3:41 into this, you will get a beautifully expressed angry statement that essentially summarizes my thoughts on the current economic crisis:

And finally, when I grow up, I want to be a child prodigy like her...

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-03-31T22:14:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Pocket dialing someone. Even worse is when you don't realize you've done it and you talk about them.
April Fools Day. I've never liked it, honestly.
The insane amount of homemade hummus Q and I have left over from last weekend. Or is this awesome?
Sitting in the front row of class and discovering your professor seems to have an excess amount of "that white stuff that accumulates at the corner of your mouth when you're really thirsty" (bonus points if you know what movie that quote is from!)
This letter I received in the mail the other day. Ummm... does Gerber know something I don't know?

In case you can't read it, it says "Dear Ms. Natalie Brown, Congratulations on the recent addition to your family!"

AWESOME:

Slow cookers. And with that, I would like to request some easy crock-pot recipes from you all. Please please share in the comments section or send me an e-mail. :)
This is my last term of my first year of Grad School. Yippy!
So far this week I've had two people contact me to share their personal awkward moments. I'm so happy you all think of me during times of extreme social discomfort! haha
The sign outside the farmer's marker on the way home from my sister's house that says "Our chicks don't dance." It's located next to a strip club. Heheh, take THAT ya perverts!

Above Everything

2011-03-30T13:43:00.000-07:00

"Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything."

Psalm 46: 10 (Message)

There's a whole lot going on in this world that I don't understand. There's even more that I just plain don't know (or care to know) about. My past apathy towards all things political is currently colliding with my new found social work passion for eradicating the very real and powerful structural oppression that stems from our current political system. Where do I draw the line between fighting the political battle and focusing on the true End Result?

I'm still marinating on this issue. I know life on earth is unfair. I know there are things I can do to overcome this unfairness - even big, political things. I know I can make a difference.

But I also know that even the most pure of motives can lead to an all-encompassing, overwhelming obsession with worldly policies and systems. The politics of this world are gross, they are powerful, they are overwhelming and exhausting, but they are also arbitrary. My true purpose is clear: I am here to serve. Without Him, I can do nothing. And without this purpose as my driving force, I am only spinning my wheels.

If I want to make some changes, I'm going to need some forward motion.

I Survived

2011-03-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I stepped onto the bus at 7:10 am to go to school.

14 hours later, I stepped off the bus at 9:10 pm.

My lovely roommate Schuyler was kind enough to drive out to the bus stop (I had to take a different bus home than usual and it drops me a bit farther from our house) and pick me up so I didn't have to walk. What a gem!

It was an excruciatingly long day, but I survived it. Last night I felt a bit like an overstimulated child - it was so hard for me to settle my mind down long enough to sleep.

This morning, in our attempt to start out the new term right, Schuyler and I got up early to do our first Insanity Exercise. Only, partway through the butt-kicking work out, the DVD skipped. Wellllllll great. Do we still get points for trying?

These are my (5) confessions:

2011-03-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

1. I haven't cut/trimmed my hair since June.

2. I read facebook before the Bible some days.

3. I wear the outfit more than one day in a row... often.

4. I sometimes make lists of other lists that I need to make. Obsessive compulsive, much?

5. I'm considering doing a challenge where I don't buy any new pieces of clothing for an entire year. Do you think I could do it?

Has it been a year already?

2011-03-27T00:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Luke and Abbey,

I can't believe it was a year ago that I wrote this post.

I can't believe it was a year ago that I anxiously drove from Salem, worried I might arrive to the hospital too late.

I can't believe it was a year ago that I gingerly tiptoed into your mommy's hospital room to kiss her forehead and tell her I loved her before she (finally) took a nap.

I can't believe it was a year ago that I escorted your dad to the small "restaurant" on the first floor for a quick meal and some small talk while your mommy napped.

I can't believe it was a year ago that I fidgeted my way through grading and typing 18 bilingual fairy tales written by my third grade students, waiting for your arrival.

I can't believe it was a year ago that I learned to shuffle playing cards into the bridge, while chatting with your grandparents and your Auntie Em.

I can't believe it was a year ago that I prayed fiercely with your grandparents and Auntie Em after receiving a text from your dad.

I can't believe it was a year ago that we rejoiced over delicious red velvet cupcakes at "take luck" time, because we knew you were close to arriving.

I can't believe it was a year ago that your father called and we heard your precious cries in the background. My eyes instantly filled with tears. And then we got the best news: we could come and meet you!

I can't believe it was a year ago that I held you both for the very first time. Words will never express how much love I felt for you then.

And I simply can't believe how much more I love you now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


TAKE LUCK!

This was the moment I first saw you.

This was my first time with both of you in my arms.

This was how I spent every morning for the first week of your life. I took a week off work and it was honestly the best week of MY life.

This was your Dedication Day. Oh my did your mommy and I work hard on your outfits!

This was, obviously, the first time I tried to wear one of you and carry the other one around the house. Not easy, guys.

And THIS is our favorite thing to do together. I love my little bookworms. :)

Here's to many more years of adventures ahead. I love you,

Your (favorite) Auntie Natalie

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-03-24T12:40:00.000-07:00

Whoops, apparently scheduling posts ahead of time is not as fool-proof as I previously believed. A day late and a dollar short. Sorry friends!

AWKWARD:

The purely psychological fact that I have to pee the second before I go to bed, leave for a road trip, or watch a movie. My family members are all groaning in agreement right now. Sorry guys!
Accidentally splatting toothpaste on your shirt. Instant bleach stain. Even more awkward was the fact that I discovered this week's toothpaste stain on the hood of my sweatshirt. How did that get there?
Hangnails. And my incessant need to chew 'em off.
Mustache March. Gross.
Pretending to be on your cellphone as you pass by someone who is trying to get you to sign up for/sell you something. Even though I'm an okay actress, I always feel like they know I'm a fraud.

AWESOME:

Watching a lightning storm through a large picture window at the beach. It was a dream come true for me!
The Minute to Win It St. Patty's Day party Q and I attended last week. It sealed the deal: I will have a Minute to Win It birthday party this year.

Attempting to construct a tower with popcans and paper plates.

This website. It's a list-makers dream!
Sam Adams Cherry Wheat beer. Schuyler thinks it tastes like cough syrup. Oh well, more for me.
Getting a 4.0 for the second term in a row. I love grad school!

A Poetic Account of the Creation

2011-03-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

Job 38:4-11, 24-27 (Message)

"Where were you when I created the earth?

Tell me, since you know so much!

Who decided on it's size? Certainly you'll know that!

Who came up with the blueprints and measurements?

How was its foundation poured,

and who set the cornerstone,

While the morning stars sang in chorus

and all the angels shouted praise?

And who took charge of the ocean

when it gushed forth like a baby from the womb?

That was me! I wrapped it in soft clouds,

and tucked it in safely at night.

Then I made a playpen for it,

a strong playpen so it couldn't run loose,

And said, 'Stay here, this is your place.

Your wild tantrums are confined to this place.'

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Can you find your way to where lightning is launched,

or to the place from which the wind blows?

Who do you suppose carves canyons

for the downpours of rain, and charts

the route of thunderstorms

That bring water to unvisited fields,

deserts no one every lays eyes on,

Drenching the useless wastelands

so they're carpeted with wildflowers and grass?"

Survey Says:

2011-03-22T12:39:00.000-07:00

Only 5 people read my blog (Vanessa commented via text message rather than on here). Well, thank you to my faithful followers who took the time to answer my most important questions!

Considering all those of you who responded are related to me, I'm wondering if this is just a family thing, but I gotta say: I'm right there with you. Why anyone would want to go through the trouble of brushing their teeth only to later dig around between them with floss only to discover what a poor job of brushing they had just done is beyond me. Plus, then what are you supposed to do with all the junk you fish out? Swallow it? Mmm no thanks. (Schuyler, I hope you are reading this because THIS IS FOR YOU)

And as for the top sheet: I am one of those people who just has to have something covering her in order to sleep properly, yet I frequently transform into the angry furnace from Home Alone in my sleep so I kick off any sort of heavy comforter/blanket. Thus, the top sheet is a must. I'm learning, however, that if by some bizarre series of fortunate events I actually end up getting married to Boyfriend, I will have to kiss my top sheet goodbye. Apparently that's what happens when you're over 6 feet tall. Lame.

Two very important questions.

2011-03-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

1. Do you floss before or after brushing?

2. Do you use a top sheet?

Please respond asap.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-03-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

AWKWARD:

Green tea ice cream. Sounds good in theory. Tastes atrocious in practice.
That whistling noise your nose sometimes make when you have a tiny bit of a cold and are trying to fall asleep.
Unibrows, and the overwhelming sensation I have to tweeze them.
The 2.5 seconds that the "walk" sign flashes when traversing a crosswalk, instantly followed by the ominous red hand. Who the heck walks that quickly?

Hiccups.

AWESOME:

Toms shoes. One for one. I'm still dreaming of these guys (even if Boyfriend says they are ugly):

I only have one more term left of this school year!
Recycling. Especially how simple it is these days. If you don't recycle, you have NO excuse. Shame on you for being lazy.
Thunder and Lightning storms. This week, I'm fairly certain the sky cracked open RIGHT above my apartment complex. It was surreal. The only thing that would have made it better is a power outage.
Eating home made spinach artichoke dip (I used this recipe) and wheat thins while watching Glee on my laptop.... in the bubble bath. What a glorious way to begin my Spring Break.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, YA'LL!

End of Term Celebration

2011-03-16T15:58:00.000-07:00

I did it! And to celebrate, my fellow MSW friends, our loved ones, and my dear roommate Schuyler and I are all going out to sing some KARAOKE!

What happens when you give a karaoke girl an old fashioned microphone?

THIS!

3.14

2011-03-14T01:09:00.000-07:00

It's Pi Day! And my brother in law's b-day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOAH! For someone who never had any bio-brothers growing up, my older sisters sure did a good job picking out my brothers-in-law. I think fake brothers are even better than the real thing!

Since I'm not eating sweets, I will enjoy some fruit trail mix or something in your honor and maybe you can enjoy an extra something ridiculously sugary in my stead.

P.S. Isn't this the most darling family picture? I just love them!

So it's the end of the term...

2011-03-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

... and my work load is increasing at an exact inverse relation to my motivation. Rough.

I'm so close to being done I can almost taste it. But instead, I'd much rather be tasting the delicious food from the Panini Party I went to last night with some people from church. Also in attendance? THE PIG! I confirmed that Ruby is, indeed, a house pet. Apparently her owner has a myriad of pet allergies and pigs are hypoallergenic. Problem solved.

Could I be smiling any bigger?

P.S. BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT to one of my BEST friends (who also happens to be my sister - am I lucky or what? she's stuck with me for LIFE): KENDRA!

If I could have any type of accent...

2011-03-12T11:28:00.000-08:00

... I would choose to be a Southern Belle. I think their sweet sounding drawl is just to die for! Plus, then I could justify carrying around a parasol umbrella as an accessory.

Let's just pretend she's blonde... and carrying an umbrella, mmk?

(slightly embarrassing side note: When I accidentally gave myself near third-degree sun burns after an ill fated day at the beach one summer, I contemplated bringing this fashion trend back. Luckily for my friends who have to be seen with me, it didn't work. I just don't think one can pull off the parasol without the ruffly dress)

Look! I even found a book where I could learn everything I need to know about my new identity:

can you tell I'm avoiding homework?

How about you? Which accent would YOU choose?

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

2011-03-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

That's right, ya'll. At the request of a few key family members, I will continue blogging throughout lent. Only I will not be reading blogs of non-family members, so someone please fill my place and read Joelle's Blog, check out Sydney's cute outfits on The Daybook, stalk Jamie's adorable life, pretend (like I do) that you know this couple in Africa, and cook or bake something delicious from my friend's recipe blogs
for me, mmk?

AWKWARD:

Having to sleep with both a sound machine on full blast and earplugs because my upstairs neighbors are either drug dealers or nocturnal... or both.
Watching a girl walk towards us during church wearing a baby sling, getting really excited because I adore babies, taking a closer look and discovering (duh, duh, duh!) it was not a baby but rather a PIGLET! Don't worry, I took a picture for proof.

Am I the only one having Through the Looking Glass flashbacks here? Shortly after this picture, she let "Ruby" out to run around. Yes, my church is awesome.

When you wash your hands and a little bit of water drips down your sleeve... such an icky feeling.
Snain (aka snow-rain). Is it snow? Or is it rain?
The conversation I had with my roommate about the level of hypothetical damage that would occur if our sink did, indeed, flood while we slept. (it did)

AWESOME:

A mom who surprises you with no-leak travel coffee mugs - just because!
Uwagimaya, the Asian grocery store just a few blocks from my house
This picture of my friend's St. Bernard, dressed in human clothes. WHAT?

Home-made pizza night with my new friends from Community Group
When YOU comment on my awkward and awesome blog posts with your own awkward and awesomes

The Copy Thief

2011-03-08T19:19:00.000-08:00

So there's a comedian who does this bit about how protective we are over our shopping carts in the grocery store. His point is, we're kind of obsessed with someone stealing our pre-purchased groceries. Visit any WinCo on a Sunday afternoon and I guarantee you will see hundreds of people cramming their over-packed carts through equally over-packed aisles, just so they can score the best deal on HyTop brand cereal without risking their cart being stolen (meanwhile, their children are wandering 3 aisles over, unattended...).

But how often do you really think someone walks into a grocery store, notices a full abandoned cart, and thinks, "Wow! What fortune! What luck! An entire cart filled with exactly every single thing I had on my list! I've just saved myself a half hour of my life!"

Not likely, right? (True story though; this exact thing happened to my roommate Schuyler. Not that he stole someone else's groceries, but someone stole his when he left his cart in a vacant aisle in order to battle the more crowded aisle one over. He walked to customer service to see if anyone happened to have turned his cart in, but no such luck. He had to start his shopping all over again.)

My story is not about groceries, however, but print copies in the student computer lab of the MSW program. You see, there are approximately 30 computers in that lounge, and just 2 printers. Often our professors are ~~far too lazy~~ too busy to link articles/powerpoints/handouts up to the internet until just shortly before class, causing mayhem in the computer lab while everyone frantically tries to get their materials printed in time. I used to click the print button on my computer and then walk back to the printer and wait patiently until my items came up, before returning to my computer to load up the next item and repeat the process over again. Thus printing each item individually.

Then it dawned on me that I was wasting time with all of this back-and-forth business. "Social workers are honest people, right? Who would steal my print? No one!" I said to myself. So one day, I decided to test this theory during a break in class, when the lab significantly less populated than usual. I loaded up my class materials one by one and clicked the print button as usual, but this time I waited until I had hit this button for the last time before merrily walking back to the printer to retrieve my fresh copies...

... only to discover they were missing! That's right, folks. In the 10 minutes it took for me to print my first item until I hit that print button for the last time, someone stole my print copies from the printer.

I'm never making that mistake again.

Ordinary Joy

2011-03-07T00:52:00.000-08:00

Well, not so ordinary for me!

For the first time ever in my life, someone has requested I prepare a specific recipe of mine for them.

That's right, friends. Schuyler totally made my day in the simplest way by asking me to prepare West African Peanut Soup. And I didn't even pay him to do it.

Will I make this soup for him? You betcha! And I'll be grinning the entire time I do it, too!

P.S. Did you read this post yet? Did you? Did you? Can I get an AMEN?!

Lent Emergency

2011-03-05T18:18:00.000-08:00

Folks, Ash Wednesday is rapidly approaching. As in, the start of Lent is just three days away!!

I am not Catholic, and I believe I am the only member of my family to participate in Lent, but I've been doing it every year since high school and I (oddly) look forward to this annual re-focusing and stretching of my faith.

In previous years I have given up: cheeseburgers, myspace, make-up, sweets, and all beverages except for good 'ole H20.

This year, I'm at a loss for what to do. Well, that's not so true. Boyfriend gave me the most logical suggestion of giving up *gasp* blogging for lent. This, of course, makes perfect sense given the embarrassing amount of time I spend reading and writing blogs rather than doing homework or, I don't know, reading my Bible. But I instantly retorted with my defense that blogging is my way of staying in touch with my family. And it is... isn't it?

Help me out here, guys. Am I being ridiculous? I'm considering refraining from all blogs except those which belong to people whom I'm related to by blood. This would certainly save time for more, ahem, "productive" activities. But does that mean I need to stop contributing my own blog entries? No more Awkward and Awesome Thursdays?!

Similarly, I think I will challenge myself and give up sweets again. I've decided this only because Schuyler agreed to do it with me. And he's not even remotely religious.

So what do you think. To blog? or Not to blog? Better let me know quick or I could be gone forever. Or at least for 40 days.