"Let the peace of God rule in your heart."
This morning I was convicted that it is not peace that rules in my heart, but fear. And I was reminded that my ministry begins today. Here in Portland. On Facebook. Through my blog. In the way I carry myself as I prepare for this trip. How are my fears and anxieties in any way glorifying Him who called me on this mission to begin with? While I want to be honest with all of you (and most importantly with myself) about what this experience is stirring in my heart, I also recognize that not every reaction comes from Him. My God is a God of peace, not of chaos.
But just when I was feeling really down on myself for worrying, I read this:
"If our plans and dreams with GOD are not so BIG they scare the heck out of us, then they probably aren't from God."
Remember the wonderful Christian mentor God sent my way when my spiritual battle had grown so intense I nearly resigned myself to a life of distant adoration of (rather than fellowship and communion with) my Savior? I wrote about her here.
Well she struck again today with the above sweet words of truth and wisdom.
Have I mentioned that this trip is terrifying? I spent Friday night with two of my best friends googling planes, trains, and busses to get me from one part of the country to another, knowing at the end of the day they wouldn't be coming with me. I'm making this trip alone. Can I do this? Can I really travel all those miles by myself?
And yet, this entire experience has been unlike anything I've ever shared before in my walk with God. From the moment He first began calling me to Peru to this morning when I opened this message from Debby, He continues to gently remind me that His will is perfect for my life and I need only let GO and let Him do the work.
Plus, look at these sweet smiles. How could I be anything short of thrilled to be on the receiving end of such adorableness in just a few. short. days.??!