HGTV for my Heart

This morning's devotional was from Ephesians 3:10-20.  As I read, I wrote down a few key verses that stood out to me.

"I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit - not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength..." (v.16)

"God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!" (v.20)

I was prompted to reflect on why I thought the Lord brought these particular verses to the forefront of my heart.  I think I chose them because lately I've been feeling pretty defeated.  I feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I have left to do and exhausted by emotions.  I find myself dragging my feet in everything - school, work, self-care - all of it seems like too much.  I crave the inner strength Christ promises.  The peace and rest and re-energizing that come from His Spirit.  As I sit here, ruminating on my own misery, I find myself gently reminded that He did provide me with tremendous strength and stamina this week.  I worked from 7:30 am Friday morning straight through to 12:30am Saturday and I felt energized the entire time, thanks to His faithfulness.

As for the second verse: I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that my future looks entirely different now than it did just a few months ago.  I thought I had it all figured out.  In fact, I was absolutely praising God for the tremendous blessings He bestowed on me as I looked forward to my adventurous new life.  Now, I find myself questioning Him constantly.  God, what is Your plan here?  This verse reminds me that His plan is so far and above anything I ever dreamed for myself.  I just need to trust Him and let Him be in charge (easier said than done).

So I prayed.  And I had a vision.  It might seem kind of silly, but this is a pretty rare occurrence for me, so I decided to document it here.

I saw myself standing in a dark and dreary room, handing over my heart break and my worries in tattered bags to God.  He tells me to go relax, take a bath, He will take care of this mess.  When I return to the room, I discover it transformed.  Bright and cheery.  Cozy.  So colorful - reds and yellows, mixtures of patterns and textures I never would have thought of.  A complete makeover.  

You guys, either I've been spending way too much time on Pinterest (likely), or this whole thing is a metaphor.  The chambers of my heart are currently so clogged with my own burdens, they seem to have lost their beauty.  Lord, please rearrange my heart to reflect Your possibilities rather than my own limitations.


Angela said…

I love your honesty in your relationship with Jesus. I am kind of in the same place right now-- at the point of wanting to give it ALL to Him but also still holding on because I have been so used to wearing my burdens on my back. I've been reading the Bible 5 minutes per day for Lent (a big step up to do nothing nothing for months on end!). I turn randomly in the Bible to read an am always amazed with what He teaches me. Last night I read Psalm 119 and I found myself going "Yes!! I need to hear this."

A great verse from that Psalm is, "Lord, how great is Your mercy; in Your justice, give me back my life" (v 156).

Lots of great things in that Psalm!

Prayers for your heart to heal and that you will be set free from your burdens. You are an outstanding lady Natalie!
kendra said…
Wow. This is beautiful. Just beautiful.