Do you believe in me?

Lately I've been feeling quite discouraged about my career choice. I find the frustrations of the College of Education have sucked the fun out of teaching for me. I watch my poor roommate, in her first year of teaching, come home every day HOURS past the time she was paid for, completely exhausted, and wonder... is that really what I want for my future? I watch my tidy, organized little bedroom slowly unwravel as I never have enough time to finish one project before the next one begins. I can't remember the last time I got a good night's sleep. And I constantly question whether or not I'm even making a difference.

Then today, two things happened that renewed my confidence in myself and in my decision.

1) Our "troublemaker" student was up to his usual shenanigans today during math, and I called him on it, as I usually do. In my head I'm thinking this kid must really hate me, i'm always telling him to "make a better choice" or "prove to me that he can be responsible". Then, I took some time to work with him on the incredibly complicated skill of borrowing when doing subtraction problems. I was patient and encouraging. And during our transition from math to literacy, when chaos consumes my classroom for just a few minutes as students put away old supplies and get out new ones, he came up to me and did something without even saying a word that caught me completely off guard: he HUGGED me. Then he looked up at me, smiled, and returned to his desk. And you know what? He wasn't a trouble maker the entire rest of the day. :)

2) My mentor teacher passed along this video to me. Please, please, PLEASE take a few moments out of your day to watch it. This kid can't be more than thirteen years old and yet he's one of the most inspiring speakers I've ever seen:

So, I'm starting to believe in me again... but do you?


Amanda said…

I'm so sorry you're struggling right now. I know you've wanted to be a teacher for so long that it must be frustrating to suddenly have doubts and be questioning your career path and heart's desire. I'm glad you recognized the small momments that really make a difference and make it all worth while.

The boy in the video is right. The teachers really do have the most important job in the city. You are going to be a part of something really big and truly important.

Hang in there.
Amanda said…
Oh and yes Blondie, I believe in you!
Samantha said…
I believe in you! I don't really know you, but I have been in classrooms and I know teaching is one of he hardest, yet best things. You're doing a great job- stick with it and you WILL and you ARE making a difference in the kids lives. Trust me. ( And that little boy! How sweet!!)

I'm sorry for your sister- may peace be with her.
Samantha said…
oh- and the reason I came over here in the first place- I forgot to say, cool idea on the " when will the baby be due" game.. or whatever you call it. =) We already know the sex though... as I'm sure you've read/heard!
Kendra said…
I do!! I DO!!! I believe in you!
Vanessa's Dad said…
I believe in you.

I believe in me.

I believe that kiddo made a terrific presentation... That inspires me.