The one in which I fail at online dating

Listen here friends….don't try to be coy on eHarmony. Invariably, it will backfire.

Here's my story:

Perfume Guy and I were matched on day one.  We went through all the obligatory guided communication steps, and graduated to "eHarmony mail," which means we can message back and forth as we please - just like real adults.

My overanalyzing brain kicked in and I started to panic that things were moving too fast and I was becoming too involved. The only logical solution, of course, was to just sort of fall back a bit and wait a few days before responding and confirming our date.  I'm not entirely sure what my rationale was for this, other than perhaps I thought if I didn't respond instantly to his last message it might indicate I have some sort of social life outside of eHarmony?*

I distracted myself in the interim with a group of girlfriends who masterfully crafted an outfit for our previously mentioned unconfirmed date. This greatly bolstered my confidence, and I returned home last night fully prepared to seal the deal.

This is the part where I unfortunately fulfill a blonde stereotype: I sat down to respond to his message, and in my week-and-a-half eHarmony rookie-ness (don't bother looking it up, it's a real term), I inadvertently clicked "block" (which is the button on the right side) instead of "respond" (which is, I now know, the button on the left side).

Turns out, eHarmony takes blocking someone prettttty dang seriously.  Naturally, I panicked and instantly attempted to reverse my error, only to discover my efforts were in vain. Apparently there is a whole "investigation" process that must occur before eHarmony will even consider contacting Perfume Guy for me to ask if he's "amicable to reopening communication."** Come on.  Homeboy doesn't even know communication was closed in the first place. I literally just dropped off his radar completely unannounced.

I even pulled a Walter Mitty and attempted to call customer service, but to no avail.  Alas, my dreams of dating an aromatic genius have been dashed,*** all thanks to my technological ineptitude.

*which we all know I don't, really
**Thanks, eHarmony, for confirming that I apparently still require adult supervision
***or at least temporarily delayed


Jena said…
Your story was a bright ray of recognition as I too seemed to accidentally close communication with someone recently!! How in the world do we even make it to the end of the day, I sometimes wonder!
Vanessa's Dad said…
If it's meant to be, it will be, and then this will be a wonderful storyline in "how we met"