Chicken Walk


SCENE: An exceptionally bright moonlit night. A handsome young man and an awkwardly dressed young woman take a stroll in the crisp end-of-summer/beginning-of-fall air. Jason Mraz-ish guitar music plays in the background (this is the sountrack to the young woman's life, of course, and is actually inaudible to anyone but her). It is a very sweet scene indeed.

MAN: (mildly adoringly) Oh you and your chicken walk...

The sound of records screeching interrupts previous Jason Mraz-ish guitar music, as this was certainly not what she thought the young man would say.

WOMAN: Excuse me, my WHAT?"

MAN: Your walk... it's kind of like a chicken.

WOMAN: How do you figure? (secretly panicking because, unbeknownst to the young man, she had JUST had a conversation with her roommate not two weeks prior that went something like this: "I kind of think I walk funny, and, like, everyone KNOWS I do it, so no one actually says anything to me about it.")

MAN: I don't know, there's just something... chickenish about your walk.

WOMAN: Chickenish? Really? What, do I bob my head or something? (laughs nervously)

MAN: No, it's just... I dunno... I guess you kind of bend your knees a lot or something. Either that or you do the Drunken Old Man Walk.

WOMAN: The WHAT?!?!

MAN: Oh come on, you know you do that one. (demonstrates a lazy stroll that does, indeed, resemble something a drunken old man might do) You just don't do it allll the time.

WOMAN: I honestly have no idea what you are talking about, but it's funny you would mention it because this is actually something I feel quite self-concious about (admittedly trying to make the young man feel guilty for picking on her)

MAN: Don't feel self-concious! I think the chicken walk is cute!

WOMAN: And the Drunken Old Man walk?

MAN: mmm.... not as cute.

This conversation of course led to several days of extremely scientific surveying of family and friends, and it turns out that while the young man is the only one who has any idea what this Chicken Walk business is about, EVERYONE knows about the Drunken Old Man Walk. My suspicions about having a funny walk that everyone-knows-about-but-no-one-says-anything were confirmed.
Maybe that's why I didn't win the pageant.... ;)

Comments

Vanessa's Dad said…
You did win at the pageant. You won 2nd Runner Up and Miss Congeniality. Lots of contestants would have been DELIGHTED either either award. You got BOTH.

I think you walk just fine. 'Course, I'm slightly biased.

LOVE, NATALIE'S DAD
Kendra said…
HA! I am one of those family members that confirmed the drunken man walk for sure!!!
But we love you just the same. HAHA. =-)
Ummmm I too enjoy Mraz-ish music in my head. La-la-la life is wonderful... Anyhow about the walk - I say own it baby! Listen to an old song by Hot Chocolate called You Sexy Thing.

As for the guy's comment...KC is offended for you. He's shaking his head and he is slightly pissed on your behalf.

Now, I'm serious put that Hot Chocolate song into your mental playlist. Nat, you're a total hottie!
Samantha said…
hey natalie.. glad to hear your read our blog!! :) Hope this term goes good for you!
Amanda said…
I'm offended for you as well. Um and also a bit confused. I know I'm a little dense sometimes and often very unobservant, but I have NEVER noticed your walk anything out of the ordinary. Guess this was why I was not selected as part of the scientific surverying of friends and family, huh! :)

Blondie you are alleged, suppossed Chicken Walk and all!