Mary, did you know?

While on a Christmas morning walk with Quinn’s family, a well-meaning someone inquired, “So Natalie, what does your family normally do on Christmas?”

How do I explain to her that my family doesn’t “normally” do anything… anymore. We used to have a wealth of holiday traditions that made this time of year more magical than anything. But now, all sense of “normal” is lost.

Unbeknownst to her, she has just ripped open a very freshly and tenderly healed heart wound, and I am left shaken for at least another hour. Luckily our walk led us to a park where I was able to step back and observe the merriment while silently choosing to ponder my own treasured Christmas memories in my heart.

Just because something occurred in the past doesn’t mean it is not still felt in the present.

My “new normal” is a strange and often lonely place, where I timidly explore life around me without giving too much of my heart or true sentiments away. Even the most crowded and joyful of places can seem oddly isolating at times.

And yet, as I lay here and reflect on this Christmas in particular, I can’t help but realize that Mary must if have felt the same way. Talk about changing life as you know it! And for her, it wasn’t just her private world that was turned upside down, but the entire universe (past, present, and future) is forever changed because of her tremendous bravery.

She must have felt so scared, timid, and (most of all) isolated at times. How could anyone ever understand what she was going through?

We were unable to attend a Christmas Eve service last night (first time in 23 years), so instead I read from The Message. Quietly in the basement, long after everyone else had gone to sleep, I read aloud a story thousands of years old and yet ever-present.

Mary was truly a phenomenal woman. She possessed the most extraordinary inner strength, which allowed her to turn fear into excitement. Faith that transformed loneliness into songs of praise.

Luke 1:46-49 quote Mary. This particular translation struck a chord in my wounded heart:

“I’m bursting with God-news; I’m dancing the song of my Savior God. God took one good look at me, and look what happened – I’m the most fortunate woman on earth! What God has done for me will never be forgotten, the God whose very name is holy, set apart from all others.”

To God be the glory on this Heavenly Day.

Wishing you all a very merry Christmas Season.

Love you. Seriously.


Vanessa's Dad said…
I am sad that sad events have touched your heart. I'm glad that you have your eyes on what is most important... that you seek Joy in what is most important. Jesus will never let you down, never forsake you. He will cause you only more Joy. I'm glad you are growing in that understanding.

Amanda said…
Blondie I'm glad you found times of quiet reflection to focus on what the season is all about. You are so wise! And I'm so glad you spent last Christmas with us. I hope we can spend another Christmas together in the desert in the years to come!